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Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Google Pizza

Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?

No sir, it's Google's Pizza.

Did I dial the wrong number?

No sir, Google bought the pizza store.

Oh, alright - then I’d like to place an order please.

Okay sir, do you want the usual?

The usual? You know what my usual is?

According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12-slice with double-cheese, sausage, and thick crust.

Okay - that’s what I want this time too.

May I suggest that this time you order an 8-slice with ricotta, arugula, and tomato instead?

No, I hate vegetables.

But your cholesterol is not good.

How do you know?

Through the subscribers guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

Maybe so, but I don’t want the pizza you suggest – I already take medicine for high cholesterol.

But you haven’t taken the medicine regularly. 4 months ago you purchased from Drugsale Network a box of only 30 tablets.

I bought more from another drugstore.

It's not showing on your credit card sir.

I paid in cash.

But according to your bank statement you did not withdraw that much cash.

I have another source of cash.

This is not showing on your last tax form, unless you got it from an undeclared income source.

I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp.
I'm going to an island without internet, where there’s no cellphone towers and no one to spy on me ...

I understand sir, but you’ll need to renew your passport .. it expired 5 weeks ago.


Anonymous said...

That's so true, it's not even funny.

Anonymous said...

The best spy tool ever invented.

Anonymous said...

Big Brother is on the way.

Jim said...

This is more accurate than you might imagine.

And like 8:24 said.. it's not funny.

We'd better get a grip on this.

Rebel Without a Clue said...

I will share this one! Excellent!

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the same time.