Hillary’s Private Emails Revealed! Okay, Not Exactly

White House Dossier hired a team of unemployed, stoned geeks for a very cheap price – and unlimited munchies – to hack into Hillary Clinton’s server. They succeeded in downloading several hundred emails before someone from LifeLock called.

Here for you, for the first time anywhere, are a few selections from Hillary’s “private” emails sent as Secretary of State.

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From: Bill  [bubba@clintonemail.com]
To: Hillary [hdr22@clintonemail.com]
Subject: Re: Sexy!
Date: October 10, 2009, 6:20 pm

You were killing me with that pantsuit today.

On Oct. 10, 2009 at 6:21 pm, Hillary [hdr22@clintonemail.com] wrote:

Oh, stop.

On Oct. 10, 2009 at 6:22 pm, Bill [bubba@clintonemail.com] wrote:

No really.

On Oct. 10, 2009 at 6:23 pm, Hillary [hdr22@clintonemail.com] wrote:

Oh do go on.

On Oct. 10, 2009 at 6:26 pm, Bill [bubba@clintonemail.com] wrote:

I mean, I really liked the salmon one. But hospital green is just your color.

On Oct. 10, 2009 at 6:27 pm, Hillary [hdr22@clintonemail.com] wrote:

I think you’re right.

On Oct. 10, 2009 at 6:32 pm, Bill [bubba@clintonemail.com] wrote:

It matches your eyes.

On Oct. 10, 2009 at 6:32 pm, Hillary [hdr22@clintonemail.com] wrote:

My eyes are blue.

On Oct. 10, 2009 at 6:41 pm, Bill [bubba@clintonemail.com] wrote:

Okay. Well, you know what I mean.

On Oct. 10, 2009 at 6:42 pm, Hillary [hdr22@clintonemail.com] wrote:

Oh, Bill. You’re so romantic.

On Oct. 10, 2009 at 6:43 pm, Bill [bubba@clintonemail.com] wrote:

I know.

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