A Parental Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,

This the season and I am hoping you will read this real version of my families Christmas List.

For my Oldest Daughter: Despite her grand announcement made everyday for the last two months there is no record of any 16 year old dieing because they didn’t get a car.

For my Oldest Son: Since his father never got a motorbike when asking all those years ago, he doesn’t need one either. Perhaps a normal haircut and a tutor in math they would be a lot more useful

My Youngest Daughter: Has no need for a “cooler” stereo and more clothing, I believe books are still available so please consider this as an alternative

My Youngest Son: If he gets a big TV before I do there will be no more cookies ever and the gaming system he has now is very useful no matter what he has written to you

The Puppy two years ago is doing fine I call him banker because of the deposits left around the house his first months I mention this because I am the one walking him so if there is a gift certificate to a gym in my stocking I will not be responsible for my actions.

My lovely wife is one of my most valued people in the world and I love to see her happy but please note happiness is not a reserved parking space at the mall and does not have anything to do with more clothes, shoes, purses or closet space.

My list has evolved over the decades and if you noticed it has gone from skateboard to motorcycle to flat screen tv and currently is: Anything Paid In Full, Peace On Earth and a self cleaning house

If you need to contact me I will be in church with my family because that is where it isn't illegal to pray

Travel Safely and Say Hello to the family and furry ones for me

I still believe

A middle aged guy in suburbia