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Sunday, July 07, 2013

Dear Parents with Young Children in Church

You are doing something really, really important. I know it’s not easy. I see you with your arms overflowing, and I know you came to church already tired. Parenting is tiring. Really tiring.

I watch you bounce and sway trying to keep the baby quiet, juggling the infant carseat and the diaper bag as you find a seat. I see you wince as your child cries. I see you anxiously pull things out of your bag of tricks to try to quiet them.

And I see you with your toddler and your preschooler. I watch you cringe when your little girl asks an innocent question in a voice that might not be an inside voice let alone a church whisper. I hear the exasperation in your voice as you beg your child to just sit, to be quiet as you feel everyone’s eyes on you. Not everyone is looking, but I know it feels that way.

I know you’re wondering, is this worth it? Why do I bother? I know you often leave church more exhausted than fulfilled. But what you are doing is so important.
When you are here, the church is filled with a joyful noise. When you are here, the Body of Christ is more fully present. When you are here, we are reminded that this worship thing we do isn’t about Bible Study or personal, quiet contemplation but coming together to worship as a community where all are welcome, where we share in the Word and Sacrament together.When you are here, I have hope that these pews won’t be empty in ten years when your kids are old enough to sit quietly and behave in worship. I know that they are learning how and why we worship now, before it’s too late. They are learning that worship is important.

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14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Excellent post.

Queensgirl52 said...

I'm sorry. I think that kids who are (a) too young to have any idea what's going on; and (b) inclined to be disruptive have no place at worship services. Here are three examples of the insanity I've witnessed over the years. One: A little boy about age two who refused to settle down was given his mother's keys to play with. After rattling them for a few minutes, he heaved them into the center aisle where they crash-landed. While airborne, they narrowly missed the face of a man a few rows back. Two: Another little guy, the youngest of 4 kids, got his hands on a wire hanger in the car. He refused to let go of it, shrieking in the parking lot when his dad tried to take it from him. In church, he kept hitting his brother with it, causing the older boy to keep yelling "Stop!" When another attempt to get the hanger away from him resulted in more shrieking, the family got up and left. This was about 15 minutes into the Mass. Third: A little boy about 3 who was with his parents and a much older brother and sister kept climbing up on the pew and walking back and forth on it. No one paid much attention to him and eventually, he slipped and fell, hitting his head on the pew on the way down. Anyone who thinks there's nothing wrong with this is crazy. Unless the church is a small one with only one service, the parents should attend separate services so one can stay home with the kid. There's a reason why the requirement to attend formal school begins at age 5.

Anonymous said...

An intelligent human being only needs to look at the everyday world around him to know the value of a loving God based religion, both for themselves and their children. It matters greatly, for the long haul in life. To be tolerant of the sounds and actions of children in church, should be a given. Life was always tuf on work a day parents, but seeing the declining morality in society and failing economic situation, only makes it harder. May God bless our American families and keep them whole.

Anonymous said...

How about we let the little darlings grow up first so that they can make up their own minds? Organized forced religion does the church no good Maybe we need a form of Rumspring?

Anonymous said...

I agree with this 100%, and thankfully have found a congregation that does as well. Thanks for posting!

Anonymous said...

10:54, you're suggestion is interesting at best, but very flawed.
do we let our children decide what they eat, drink, and wear? do we let them tell us if they will attend school or where they will attend? are they allowed to tell us what they will read and watch on the screen or perhaps who their friends will be and where they will go and what time will they return? I think not...
why is it adults use this "line" regarding the most important part of a persons life; their spiritual life?
the bible says we are to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. faith is to be handed down from one generation to the next. the truth of the word of God is not to be taken lightly or thought of as not worth our time; not important to impart to our children and their children. when one does this it shows arrogance to the One who created us. this certainly isn't very wise.
"our little darlings" are placed in our charge to make sure our children know where they came from where they are now and where they're going. it's up to parents to take this responsibility seriously and to heart and do the best job they can. we should be taking them with us to church to learn the stories and precepts of God, to worship in spirit and in truth. finally it's important to live our faith out in our homes and in society.

Anonymous said...

Jesus admonished church leaders and said, "Suffer the little children to come unto me". It is HIS desire that we learn as children of HIS love for us. Many churches have nurseries that are staffed with loving women, themselves mothers and grandmothers that give of their time willingly to tend little ones so mommy's have the opportunity to hear the Word of GOD, a time of respite from their many mommy duties. I loved having a church nursery to watch my children and I gave willingly of my time to do Sunday School nursery for years so mommies could have a time of worship and fellowship with folks of like precious faith. I played with babies, sang songs such as Jesus loves me this I know, the B-i-b-l-e, and many other children's songs. I was preparing this precious babies for the time they would move on to toddler classes; they would be familiar with the songs and actions to some of the songs such as Fishers of Men and Deep and Wide. This is our responsibility as parents, grandparents and aunts and uncles to teach these precious souls of GOD's sacrifice of sending HIS son, Jesus, to come to this earth as a baby, to teach of HIS Father's love and desire for each one of us, and to ultimately die on the cross to save us from ours sins. Thank you, the many nursery workers, Sunday School teachers and helpers that give willingly of their time and their talents.

Anonymous said...

I agree with 9:25.

Anonymous said...

12:39:

There is a difference in teaching someone how to behave and teaching someone how to THINK. One should behave in ways acceptable to society, in general.

But being taught what to think is propaganda. And doing it to children? That's actually awful. The only reason it's done is because parents are scared that if they don't start early, their kids might not grow up to think just like they do.

Anonymous said...

Yes 7:21
Teaching kids things like you shouldn't kill or steal is a bad things. I guess the problem you have is the part where they teach you that YOU are accountable for your actions.
I guess you don't love your mother and father either and you treat your neighbors like poo.
Just what is acceptable behavior now days according to society? Please give me the ground rules.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post. At the church we love, children are welcomed...the preacher even blew bubbles with a toddler. The joy of celebrating OUR GOD was ever present. You don't have to be an adult to be included. Welcome the children of God with open arms.

shell said...

Wow.. I guess some of u that are againt children going to church were never children... sundays r a FAMILY worship day... now don't get me wrong some of the things kids do can test ur patients. But these children r children of GOD...maybe the pastor needs to remind parents of young children that the nursery is open..idk my church is great.. I don't not have younger children anymore but others there do. And I don't mind having children in there.. and force religious beliefs oh my heavens.. they r children.. parents enjoy sunday church. That's hardly forcing them..each its own..but....AS FOR ME AND MY HOME WE WILL SERVE THE LORD!! TOGETHER..AS A FAMILY...

Anonymous said...

Queensgirl you are obviously Catholic. Been there, done that, not going back to anything that bases their beliefs on fear. I don't need to be scared into being good and doing what is right. This is one of many reasons catholics are moving on to other denominations. If the Catholic church was more concerned with it's participants than it is the offering plate things might be different. Why has the Catholic church never offered a nursery or child care? You all would rather tell people to stay home than to bring their kids to mass. I have never experience more hypocrisy than I have in the Catholic church.

Anonymous said...

Behave in ways acceptable to society? Such as open homosexual activity? Is this one of the acceptable behaviors you are referring to?