Detroit Residents Stunned!

Police in Detroit announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi-automatic rifles with 25,000 rounds of ammunition, 200 pounds of heroin, 5 million in forged US banknotes and 25 trafficked Latino prostitutes -- all in a semi-detached house behind the Public Library on Woodward Ave.

Local residents were stunned, and a community spokesman said: "We're all shocked; we never knew we had a library."