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Saturday, May 18, 2013

Obama Making A Lot Of Money On Your Student Loan

I went to law school because, like the IRS spokeswoman, I am notoriously bad at math. I say I have that “math anxiety” thing, but in truth, I really don’t, I just don’t give a sh*t. Except for algebra. Because you need algebra to figure out if you’re getting an accurate sale price.

At any rate, I took out a lot of loans from the government at the height of the economy when lawyers were making six figures for sitting at their desks and mastering internet checkers, and while I dutifully pay them back on schedule, I feel like the government, of all the lenders I have, is definitely the stingiest with that warm, fuzzy, “we’ll definitely help you kind of stuff.” I mean, I don’t even get to deduct a reasonable portion of my interest off my taxes, the way I can with my mortgage and that kidney I sold last year to pay Sallie Mae on time. I thought this might have just been a clerical oversight not yet corrected by our omnipotent leadership because the student loan industry had yet to hire lobbyists with the ability to secure first class plane tickets to exciting vacation destinations.

But it turns out, it’s because the government makes a crapload of money off the backs of hard-working service industry professionals with advanced degrees they paid for but will probably never use.


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