8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat ' s Daily Diary
Day 983 of my captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ' good little hunter ' I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ' allergies. ' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.......
9 comments:
SO TRUE!
awwww! This is exactly why I have a house dog and a yard cat. My daughter tried to make my "poofy" a house cat and she hysterically ran around and pooped everywhere.
She is a bush cat.
That describes my dogs! lol
While I read this my dog was sitting next to me with tail wagging. The cat was on the other side of the room glaring at me with this evil look in her eyes. lol
I have a dog, cats and birds, so I get this. This post is hysterical.
You hit the nail on the head. As a friend of mine said, " You'll never own a cat----They Own You! EW
Having a "bush cat" is not being a good neighbor or a good steward to the native wildlife. Cats should be house pets only.
I had the very same conversation with my own prisoners, I mean pets just last week. I was able to put down the uprising, and everything is quiet in the confinment center, I mean at home.
Joe you are the best!!This was such a funny post..as I am looking at my cat who refuses to stay off the foot of my bed..who wont eat his cat food unless its slightly heated to resemble a hot meal.Will not drink his water unless I add a few ice cubes.Will not even look for a
mouse and pretend he's earning his keep.Wakes up from his long day of napping to get a snack of tuna on a bed of shredded carrots( he loves it) only to search for another comfy spot to lay down and rest from his hard day of sleeping.He refuses to stay in his reindeer outfit at christmas..his
easter bunny suit on easter..or his turkey sweater on thanksgiving..He hates his name..Who on earth names a cat "Monkey" My family thinks im crazy for putting up with that "good for nothing cat" My reply...I just love him..
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