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Sunday, March 21, 2010

Actual Ads

Supposedly, these classified ads appeared in the New York Times:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES.

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL, 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.

FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT ... BEEN OUT AWHILE .. BETTER BE A REWARD.

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.

GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.

OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE & DONUTS.

(AND THE BEST ONE) . .

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica - no longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

The last one is just puurrrrfect as I sit here with my morning coffee from the best bakery in the world, Lewes Bake Shoppe.

Anonymous said...

lol, I have a husband who thinks he doesn"t need Encyclopedia's.And little these he know.lol

Anonymous said...

LOL !!!

Anonymous said...

I actually witnessed one in The Daily American, Somerset, PA, a few years ago that read: "Free dog. Will eat anything. Especially fond of children." Classic.