Toast-Feline Anti-Grav Concept Explained

Somebody just had to ask in the toast post...

So, what would happen if we stick a slice of toast with butter to a cat's back and we throw it to the air or drop it from a distance? The cat, by law, will land on its feet, but the toast (by law too) will land on the butter's side. Against this problem of physics laws, the nature chooses the best way of reaching a solution: the cat may just not fall.
(If you're trying this at home, be sure to attach the toast to the cat with the butter side UP and send the dog out of the room.)

The cat with the toast firmly attached, once it's free in the air, will float at its cat-toast equilibrium point, where butter repulsion forces and cat forces are in balance. This point can be adjusted by removing some butter from the toast, adding it, or cutting some hairs (or legs) from the cat. In theory, this will cause the cat to remain stationary, however, in reality, due to varied nature of gravity and the non-uniform profile of Earth, the cat will simply spin around its center of gravity at ever-increasing speed.
In fact, most civilized species in the universe already use this principle in order to build their UFOs. The buzzing that you can hear when you see an UFO is actually the purring of however many cats it takes to support the weight of the craft. Our government is undoubtedly experimenting with similar designs for weapons platforms. The Japanese and French are rumored to be using the concept for their high speed rail lines, but are suspected to push the animals beyond their limits, which may account for the screaming sound as the trains speed by.