Today is National Joke Day.
Give me your best joke.
DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
16 comments:
Gary "Bubba" Comegys
Mayor Tilghman !!
Mare horseface
SHANIE SHIELDS!!! LOL!
"Governor Martin O’Malley Proclaims July 4th Take Me Fishing™ Day In Maryland"
- Maryland Dept of Natural Resources press release, June 30, 2008
A man worked all his life amassing a large amount of money. He told his wife when he died that he wanted the money buried with him. Upon his death, while at the funeral, his wife put a metal box in the casket with him. Her friend said, you didn't. The wife told her friend, well his last instructions were to bury the money with him so I wrote a check, put it in the box and if he can cash it, he can have it.
Good one
On a tour of the facilities, the new CEO noticed a guy leaning against the wall. The room was full of workers and the CEO wanted to let them know that he meant business! So the new CEO walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, "I make $300 a week. Why?"
The CEO then handed the guy $1,200 in cash and screamed, "Here's four weeks pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"
From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the opposum it could be done!
A bum, who obviously has seen more than his share of hard times,
approaches a well dressed gentleman on the street. "Hey, Buddy,
can you spare two dollars?" The well-dressed gentleman responds,
"You are not going to spend in on liquor are you?"
"No, sir, I don't drink," retorts the bum.
"You are not going to throw it away in some crap game, are you?"
asks the gentleman.
"No way, I don't gamble," answers the bum.
"You wouldn't waste the money at a golf course for greens fees,
would you?" asks the man.
"Never," says the bum, "I don't play golf."
The man asks the bum if he would like to come home with him for a
home cooked meal. The bum accepts eagerly. While they are heading
for the man's house, the bum's curiosity gets the better of him.
"Isn't your wife going to be angry when she sees a guy like me at
your table?"
"Probably," says the man, "but it will be worth it. I want her to
see what happens to a guy who doesn't drink, gamble or play
golf."
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burn ed up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, ain't Bubba.'
The mortician thought this was rather strange. So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body Gomer looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Bubba.'
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
Gomer said, ' Well, Bubba had two assholes.'
'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, 'There's Bubba with them two assholes.
Obama President!
Vigara table
10 percent orange juice
90 percent fix a flat
A rabbit was walking along and saw a bird in a tree. The rabbit asked "whatcha doin?". "Nothin" said the bird, "absolutley nothin". "Can I do nothin?" asked the rabbit. Sure said the bird. So, the rabbit sat on the ground and soon a fox came along and ate him. The moral of the story: it's ok to do absolutely nothin - but, you have to be really high up.
Two Ladies Talking in Heaven
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.
2nd woman: Hi! I'm Lynne. How'd you die?
1st woman: I Froze to Death.
2nd woman: How Horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere
that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer....we'd both still be alive.
What do you call cheese that is not yours?
Nacho cheese
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