Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 55.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured, we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50... in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes?? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends... it's in big type so they can read it.
9 comments:
You're damn straight about the old women. I've have that border situation right in just a matter of no time at all. You can't speak English, go back to where you came from and you can do a little dance on your way back to the tune of this machine gun. Now go away!!
This old guy should run for office. If old men and women joined the military it would also solve the problem with medicare, Medicaid and social security. He makes more sense than any candidate now running.
That is because the 2020 hopefuls have no platform. What are they going to say?...better jobs? AI is taking care of that. Free healthcare, tuition, child care, etc......too expensive and would bankrupt a nearly bankrupt economy. They are pandering to the mood swings of the populace now; what do you want to hear? Fixing the problems accrued over years of placating doing nothing is BITTER medicine. We are broken folks and the fix is painful. Some just can't handle the truth!
an old guy aint gonna charge up a hill while under fire, but an 18 yo will. I would just call in an airstrike! then go home!
Love it. Makes sense...if your trying to save a Nation. But thats not why war is designed, its designed to slow over population, the death of young men slows young families and slows progress. Sending men to battle that already have one foot in the grave would only achieve one objective in the art of war.
Makes perfect sense!
I'm 57, my best years are behind me!
I've got nothing to lose!
Your right 7:50
It would only lower the population of the enemy
No send in the SNOWFLAKES
I say let the old guys bang the brainwashed college kids and stop socialism.
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