WALSH: The Only Thing Preventing Us From Descending Into Civil War

We’re told that “division” and “partisanship” and “bigotry” are destroying America. “Hate" is the cancer in our cultural bloodstream, they say. We must fight against hate speech and hate crimes and hate in every other form. There is so much hate, allegedly. Some people are even worried that another civil war might be on the horizon.

I think we flatter ourselves. There will be no civil war. We’re far too lazy for such an onerous pursuit. It’s easier to snipe at each other in the comments section or shoot off insults on social media. We much prefer a tweet war to an actual war because tweet wars don’t interrupt a Netflix binge.

During the real Civil War, men marched over mountains in bare feet in the winter. They lived on salt pork and black coffee made from acorns. They charged headlong into cannon fire. They used whiskey as an anesthetic while they had their limbs amputated. They had convictions, and they died for them.

We do not have that kind of conviction. We have enough conviction to participate in a hashtag campaign, or to hurl a snarky gif at our cowering adversaries, but civil war? We need not worry our silly heads about that. We spend literally billions of dollars on iPhone upgrades, porn, video games, tickets to superhero films, and accessories for our pets. How many people would be willing to jeopardize a life of such insane, stifling luxury for the sake of fighting a gruesome battle out in the street? Not many. Not nearly enough to get even a halfway respectable war together.

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