CALLER:
Is this Gordon's Pizza?
GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
Is this Gordon's Pizza?
GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER: My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER: My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER:
OK! That’s what I want …
GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
OK! That’s what I want …
GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER:
What? I detest vegetables.
GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
What? I detest vegetables.
GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER:
How the hell do you know?
GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.
We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
How the hell do you know?
GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.
We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!
I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.
According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.
According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
CALLER:
I bought more from another drugstore.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
I bought more from another drugstore.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER:
I paid in cash.
GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
I paid in cash.
GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL?
GOOGLE:
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
WHAT THE HELL?
GOOGLE:
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER:
Enough already!
Enough already!
I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE:
GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…
9 comments:
No kidding.
Funny but there's more truth to that than should be in this world.
What is unnerving is the fact that when you make a call you don’t know if the party you are speaking with is in Russia.
If this is surprising to you, you either haven't been paying attention or you just aren't very smart.
No surprise. Microsoft started it multiplied this situation when they worked with the Federal government / Homeland Security when they created WIN10 and Google stepped in with Google Chrome then Facebook and other social media has always sold your info. What amazes me is nobody has comprehended this even when ACA / Obamacare was passed that it violated HIPA and put out your medical info for anybody to access. You got what you wanted now all of us has to live with it until the next "revolution which is coming quickly.
Ooooooh, such scary words you say. You must know everything!
It’s impossible to have a whole wheat gluten free anything.
This is why I do all retail transactions in cash at brick and mortar stores.
SBJ
SBJ and they have you on camera and the tags of the car you drove and parked in their lot.
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