We Are a Fundamentally Unserious People

Guys, did you know that cooking eggs in a certain manner is problematic? I know you're shocked—something utterly meaningless being denounced for violating whichever principle we happen to be adhering to this day? No!—but really, it's true. Of course, the central struggle of our times is determining how, exactly, it's problematic. Which tenet of intersectionality does it most egregiously violate? Is said method classist (and, therefore, probably racist, given the overrepresentation of minorities in the lower economic classes)? Or is it, gasp, sexist to criticize said method of cooking eggs?

Let's find out!

The method of cooking eggs in question involves an "egg spoon," or an insanely expensive iron spoon that cradles the egg in a fire pit. I guess. I wouldn't have any idea because this seems like a nutso way to cook an egg when you can literally scramble one in minutes. But I digress. The egg spoon, according to the New York Times, is a dreadfully classist way of cooking:

"She’s Pol Pot in a muumuu," [Anthony Bourdain] was reported to have said at a New York food festival shortly afterward. "I saw her on ‘60 Minutes.’ She used six cords of wood to cook one egg for Lesley Stahl."

The lines were drawn. On one side were those who viewed cooking an egg over a fire as the embodiment of food elitism and all that is annoying about the Slow Food movement. Only people who are very rich or very poor have fireplaces in their kitchens, critics said. Where is a working parent supposed to find the time?

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