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Monday, September 25, 2017

Logical Reasons Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives

The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.

Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

Dogs like it if you leave lotsof things on the floor.

Dogs' parents never visit.

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go, instantly, 24 hours a day.

Dogs find you amusing when you're pissed.

Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

Dogs won't wake you up at night to ask: "If I died, would you get another dog?"

If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and sell 'em.

When you drop a silent one, dogs don't run around frantically with room spray.

Dogs never tell you to stop scratching your balls. Instead, they sit pondering why you don't lick 'em.

Dogs will let you put a studded collar on, without calling you a pervert.

And last, but not least: If a dog runs off and leaves you, it won't take half your stuff.

To verify these statements: Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.

Then open the door, and observe who's happy to see you!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awesome! One of the few certainties in life

Anonymous said...

But is that dog going to cook your meals for you; clean up after you and wash, dry, fold and put away your clothes; baby you when you have a cold or run get you ice when you have an ache or a pain; wash your dishes for you, clean and vacuum for you; scrub your toilet or tub for you; I highly doubt it, but go ahead and have your dog, she would rather do without all the complaining anyway.