Love And Visibility

Years ago, somebody asked Nathaniel Branden how you know when you love
somebody. His answer was something to the effect that, "When they enter a room,
for you, the room gets a little brighter, like the lights had been turned up a notch."

What is it that makes love matter, that brings that glow, that brightness from another
fellow human being? Love is too rich and complex to boil down to some single
facet or data point – and I wouldn't want to do it if I could. But one of the elements
that goes into feeling love for somebody, is the experience of being seen.

When you fall in love with someone you are not only seeing who they are; you are also seeing the best
within them. And to be seen in this way is one of the greatest, deepest joys of life. One of the important
ingredients in marriages that are successful and happy over time is that both parties continue to see each
other that way. In happy couples, the respective mates always rate their partner more highly than other
friends or observers.

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