The Democratic Disaster Just Got Even More Hilarious

So, now the Democrats are choosing between a pair of doddering crustaceans. The Crusty Commie Curmudgeon and the Crusty Comedy Relief both did well enough Tuesday to keep going. Big Chief Warren, whose actual people call corn “corn” and not “maize,” may still go on because she’s an insufferable monster whose transcendent yearning to nag us into schoolmarm’d submission knows no bounds, plus because the establishment wants her in the race siphoning Chablis socialist votes away from her Marx brother. But the Hapless Halfling dropped out, a half-billion bucks lighter, and he’s not just returning to his burrow. He’ll want to remain a Dem player – he’ll keep spending like an NFL superstar in the Champagne Room at the Peppermint Pasty gentleman’s club after getting his signing bonus paid in singles, and the Lil’ Loser hopes to make it rain until he drowns Donald Trump in a sea of greenbacks.

But the battle is really for the shriveled heart of the Democrat Party, and no one better represents the yin and the yang of that dying collection of power-hungry elitists and grasping greedos than the doddering socialist Sanders and that Biden guy who should by all rights be chasing that damn know-it-all squirrel around the park.

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