Dr. Strangesсhiff, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Impeachment

Who could have guessed that the words of Soviet secret police chief Lavrentiy Beria to Joseph Stalin, "Show me the man, and I will show you the crime," would be strangely embodied in American politics and jurisprudence in the 21st century? Moreover, according to Dr. Strangesсhiff — congressman, chairman, and commissar — these wonderful words have recently found their way into the U.S. Constitution.

Secret impeachment would seem to be a new idea, but the curious Dr. Strangesсhiff borrowed it from the closed Soviet trials of dissidents, "enemies of the people," and other "undesirable elements."

Bravo, comrade Strangesсhiff! Please, continue the Orange Man trial behind closed doors. After all, the American people are ecstatic about closed hearings without access by journalists or lawyers. They are also especially fond of the removal of the president based on an anonymous gossip-monger, or two, or three. The number of blabbers is not important, since the transcripts of their testimonies will never be published (not because they are not there, but because that is exactly what the intent was).

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