Only Mike Rowe...

Flying to Chicago with the parents, who are recently recovered from the flu. The doctor allowed them to travel, but advised them to take every precaution…

Mom: Michael, will it embarrass you if we wear our surgical masks on this flight?

Mike: Not if you’re performing surgery.


Dad: Don’t be a smart guy. We’re strapped into a giant Petri dish. The doctor says these masks could save our lives!

Mike: Only if your wife actually puts the mask over her nose.

Mom: I don’t like it over my nose. It fogs up my glasses.

Dad: Then what’s the point? The germs will get up your nose if you don’t keep it covered!

Mom: But I can’t see the Sudoku if my glasses are all fogged up!

Mike: He’s right, Mom. If you’re gonna wear the mask, you might as well wear it properly.

Mom: But if it’s over my nose, I’ll be breathing CO2. That’s a deadly gas, you know.

Dad: Good grief, Peggy, do you think the doctor would tell us to wear a mask if it were gonna kill us!

Mom: What do YOU know, John? You’ve got your string wrapped around your hearing aid!

Dad: What?

Captain: Welcome aboard, everyone. We’ll be flying into a pretty stiff headwind today, but we’re still gonna do our best to assure an on-time arrival.

Dad: “Do our best?” What the hell does that mean? Don’t they always do their best?

Mom: He sounds sleepy, Michael.

Mike: Who, Dad?

Mom: No, the Pilot.

Mike: He’s not sleepy, he’s just bored.

Mom: I hope there’s a co-pilot. Do you suppose there’s a co-pilot up there?

Mike: Probably. Where else would they put him?

Mom: Do you think he’s wearing a mask?

Flight Attendant: Excuse me, can I get you two something to drink?

Dad: Pardon me?

Flight Attendant: I said, CAN I GET YOU TWO SOMETHING TO DRINK?

Dad: Yes, please, I’d like some orange juice.

Flight Attendant: I beg your pardon?

Dad: Some orange juice, please.

Flight Attendant: I'm sorry, sir, can you speak up?

Mom: John, take your mask off, she can’t understand you.

Dad: I’m not taking this mask off. She might be infected!!

Mom: So I guess you’ll be drinking your orange juice through the mask?

Dad: Maybe I will!!!

Mom: Well then, I’m not putting this stupid thing over my nose!!!

Flight Attendant: I can come back later…

Mike: To answer your question, Mom, no - this isn’t embarrassing at all…