The Expendables

Before reviewing the film, I want to give a little bit of background on its co-writer, Sylvester Stallone. I'll also comment on the Jean Claude Van Damme dust up after.

Most, if not all, of you have seen at least one of Stallone's movies. From his soft-core porn beginning in "The Party at Kitty and Stud's" (the title was later changed to "Italian Stallion" after the success of "Rocky") to his larger-than-life roles as the ultimate American fighting-machine in both "Rocky" and "Rambo". What some of you might not realize is that Sly lived in Silver Spring, Maryland as a child while parents, Frank Sr. and Jackie, operated a chain of beauty salons in the area. Sylvester was going to follow them into the business and went to beauty school to pursue it, but that ended after he won a scholarship for the American College of Switzerland, where he studied drama. His first big break came after being inspired while watching Muhammad Ali batter Chuck Wepner into a mass of bruises and flowing blood. The young Stallone went home and cranked out the script to "Rocky" in three days. "Rocky" was nominated for ten Academy Awards in all, including Best Actor and Best Original Screenplay nominations for Stallone. The film went on to win the Academy Awards for Best Picture, Best Directing and Best Film Editing.

A fair share of people believe that Stallone has less-than-average intelligence, probably based in part on his choice of movie roles and his expression. However, the latter was due to complications at birth when the misuse of forceps severed a nerve and caused paralysis in parts of Stallone's face. The result was his slurred speech and his drooping lip. The fact is, while he isn't likely to find the cure for cancer, Stallone has written a pretty impressive list of films in whole or part including "Staying Alive" and all of the "Rocky" and "Rambo" series, "Rhinestone" and several others that are listed in reverse chronological order at the bottom of this post. At some point the critics of Stallone have to acknowledge that this man has risen from a beauty school drop out to a no-doubt-about-it player in Hollywood not just by the strength of his bulging (steroid-aided) muscles, but by his intellect as well. Anyone that can pen as many successful films as Sly, has to have something going on upstairs.

Now down to the film at hand.

"The Expendables" is a testosterone-infused journey from the muscle-clad lair of a man cave to the tiny island of Vilena, South America. The film begins with the boys taking down some pirates and rescuing some hostages. Next we see the nest of The Expendables, a dirty garage that is a place to park their gorgeous motorcycles, West Coast Customs built beautiful 55 Ford, tattoo parlor (with Rourke slinging the ink) and a home base for their have-death-will-travel mercenary business. Stallone's character Barney Ross (named after Hall of Fame boxer of the same name who retired 72-4?) receives a call about a new job and meets with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis in a small, but memorable scene that sets the price and the place of their mission, a tiny island named Vilena in South America.

I don't want to give away too much, but I can tell you that The Expendables are: Sly, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Terry Crews and MMA fighter Randy Couture. Their contact on the island is hot-as-hell Mexican-born Brazilian actress Gisele Itié. The bad guys are fronted by Eric Roberts with muscle provided by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, who lays the smackdown on Stallone in a scene that broke Sly's neck during filming.

The plot is a mix of Quentin Tarantino's WWII blood-filled fantasy "Inglourious Basterds" and popular "save the princess" 80s video game Mario Brothers. While the storyline is hardly groundbreaking, it is enjoyable and sports a few one-liners you'll repeat at the water cooler on Monday.

The bottom line (as Stone Cold would say) is if you like actions films, you'll probably enjoy the ride, but if you aren't a fan of the genre you won't be won over by anything that appears in this film. I like violent movies and found this one to be really enjoyable. The pacing is easy, the explosions large and the fight scenes intense. While the film will likely be remembered by the cast of stars aligned, the controversial act of water-boarding is depicted, which is coupled with graphic displays of gore are noteworthy for the genre. It follows a trend in action films of the aforementioned "Inglourious Basterds" with venturing into gruesome scenes of extreme bodily harm. As a fan of slasher films, I love this development. However, the weak-hearted and the there-is-too-much-violence-in-movies crowd will loathe it.

Some of you may have read Jean Claude Van Damme turned down the opportunity to be in the film stating, he "doesn't want his career going down that route." He goes on to say that Stallone called him and personally offered him a role in the film. His side of the story is when he asked about the character Stallone told him about the money he would make and not a lot about the role itself so he said "no". A couple of points here, first of all, the character for Van Damme's role had not been entirely fleshed out yet, so Stallone was in essence likely saying trust me on that part, it will be good and you'll make money. While the press has been quick to jump to the obvious (though wrong) conclusion that Van Damme was putting "the craft" ahead of his bank account angle, the fact is JCVD was admittedly homeless a few years ago. Consider Van Damme's comments come from a man who just last year starred in the straight-to-video trash called, "Universal Soldier: Regeneration". Van Damme want us to believe that he is only looking for serious, socially conscious work and not acting for money, when in October he has a movie coming out called "The Eagle Path" where he plays, gulp, a mercenary!?!? Add to that he will re-apprise his role as Luc Deveraux in the Universal Soldier series in 2011! Given all of this, I'd say Jean Claude made a big mistake by turning down a bankable role that could have re-elevated his career. I'm not sure what his motive was, maybe he's back on the nose candy? In any event, Van Damme is obviously not some re-born actor that loves "the craft" over money as is being trumpeted around the rags on the mag stands, nor is "The Expendables" a lunk-headed fiasco. It is a piece of violent entertainment that will wet the whistle of those thirsty for action, while at the same time help raise money to those that demonize such films.

Films that Sylvester Stallone has written in whole or part (source IMDB):

The Expendables (2010) (screenplay)
Rambo (2008) (written by)
Rocky Balboa (2006) (characters) (written by)
Father Lefty (2002) (TV) (written by)
Driven (2001) (screenplay)
Cliffhanger (1993) (screenplay)
Rocky V (1990) (written by)
Rambo III (1988) (written by)
Over the Top (1987) (screenplay)
Cobra (1986) (screenplay)
Rocky IV (1985) (written by)
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) (screenplay)
Rhinestone (1984) (screenplay)
Staying Alive (1983) (written by)
First Blood (1982) (screenplay)
Rocky III (1982) (written by)
Rocky II (1979) (written by)
Paradise Alley (1978) (written by)
F.I.S.T (1978) (screenplay)
Rocky (1976) (written by),
The Lord's of Flatbush (1974) (additional dialogue)