What Is The Funniest Joke You've Ever Heard?
DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
29 comments:
Barrack Obama wins the Presidential election !!
That fat guy, JT!
that Obama was elected!
Barrack Obama was a good president!
Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who falls overboard?
A. Bob
11:59 - I don't think that joke is very funny at all. More like fodder for a nightmare.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, he's not coming anyway!
What do you call a president that is worthless and destroys the country he live in?
Barrack Obama!!!
What do you call idiots that drank the Kool Aid and vote him?
Stupid!
The economy is recovering
Anon 12:55, your grammar is a joke.
Obama is a citizen of the United States
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper.
He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out..The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard.
When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.
The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing.
Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, 'That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?'
The father replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, I'd say our son-in-law.
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?" "Sure," answered the
blonde, "do you need a lift?" "Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back
which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble. "I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into
the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of
San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. What in the world are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo. "Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we had money left over--- so now we're going to Sea World......
Didn't any of you learn any jokes growing up? Why resort to Obama jokes? Believe me, I did not vote for him, but this is getting old....
Bill Clinton is walking on the beach and finds an Aladdin's Lamp. He rubs it and sure enough a Genie appears and says he will grant him one wish. Clinton thinks real hard and says I would like peace in the middle east. The Genie says "The middle east has been in turmoil for thousands of years, that is a very difficult request. Is there another wish I can grant?" Bill thinks for a minute and says "I'd like for my wife to be beautiful". The Genie hesitates and says "Let's talk about the middle east again".
I was rubbing my wifes back and told her "aren't you precious". She said thanks. I said "no I meant aren't you like precious, that fat girl from the movie". I slept on the couch that night
if obama and pelosi were on a boat in the middle of the pacific and it starts to sink, who is saved?
america!
Two Guys are Fishing.The first guy reels in his line and sees that he’s snagged an old bottle. As he’s taking it off the hook, a genie pops out and promises to grant him one wish. “Turn the lake into beer,” he says. The genie goes “Poof!” and the lake turns into beer. He says to the other guy, “So what do you think?” The other guy says, “You jerk. Now we’ve got to piss in the boat.”
Officer pulls me over and says, "Sir, you been drinkin tonight?" I say "why, is their a fat chick in my backseat?"
Two race horses talking and one says " I raced this morning and my legs hurt and I have to race again on friday" The other horse says "You? I raced monday and tuesday and have to race again today my hips hurt and my hooves hurt" just then a dog walked up and said " boy you are both so stupid, they pump seroids in you and race you till you can't walk just for their entertainment" The first horse looked at the second horse and says "Dam a talking dog"
A guy smoking a big stogie like the ones Joe smokes, is in a bar when this very snobish looking woman, walks over to him and says, " If you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee" to which he relplyed, "Lady if I were your husband, I'd drink it"
kid's jokes but they are my favorites. Kid's voice helps
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
you 'neek' up on it
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
the tame way
A Rabbi walks into a Taylor shop with a duffle bag. He threw it up on the counter and told the Taylor that he has been a Rabbi for 45 years and in this bag he has all of the circumcisions he had performed and want the Taylor to make something special out them for him to remember his years of service. The Taylor at fist said no but when the Rabbi offered him a large sum of money the Taylor agreed and told him to come back in a week. A week went by and the Rabbi came to the Taylor’s shop overwhelmed with excitement and quickly asked what he had made for him. The Taylor reached under the counter and produced a very well crafted wallet. The Rabbi angrily asked, out of that large bag of circumcisions all you made me was a wallet? The Taylor quickly replied yes but if you rub it will turn it into a suitcase.
what do you do when you come across and elephant in the jungle?
wipe him off and tell him your sorry.
Hickory Dickery Dock
The mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The rest escaped with minor injuries
The first word a man learns after he gets married is WON TON...spell it backwards for the answer....
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung!
349 That's bad.
Did you hear about me the previous President of the USA having no brain? George Bush braindead from drugs and alcohol... oh oh no joke is it? Why cant you GOP'rs just quit the Party War and try to find ideas to suggest to our Government that we all can participate in that will help America? And dont forget what Bush/Cheney did to this country. All this sh)t we are in didnt just happen in the last year.......
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