You Ain't Gonna Believe This One, Folks! Then Again...

The Planning & Zoning Commission hearing on the old mall began with a bang and went out with a banging…

Of rubber stamps, that is.

At the request of the developers and the City, the Findings of Fact for the whole mall redevelopment plan was pulled from the agenda. You know, to accommodate the great promised revision for lower density and mixing residential and commercial space like real urban villages do. But wait! After such a momentous keeping our word start, what happens?

Well, they go right ahead with a public hearing to do something they didn’t need to do: toss out the county parking lot and bring in the land Eckerd’s and the bank sit on. Oh, they’ll still work out a deal with the county for the lot. After all, they got a nice $6 million tax break for that oh, half a million tops, slab of pavement.

But they didn’t need to do anything with either of these pieces of land because they are going to be revising the plan anyway, right, with the developers holding public input meetings, right?

But wait! The developers have scheduled the Great Revision And Public Exchange (GRAPE) meeting just a week away! How generous (not!) GRAPE, better known as the Fabulous All-inclusive Revision Charade Exemplar (FARCE) with a whole week’s notice shall certainly compel hundreds of citizens to drop their scout meetings, church choirs, candidate forums, and non-refundable tickets to Third Day and The David Crowder Band concert at the Civic Center in a heartbeat! (Then the Civic Center won’t have to worry about parking on mall property.)

Excellent comments from the public as to why all of this should be tabled and considered as part of the Sacred Revisions were endured by the obviously shut minds behind the table.

Then, the room was hushed by a Tale of the Bizarre. Chairwoman Corinne LesCallette called for the room to clear for a closed session. Uhhhh, a closed session? Even P&Z Director Jack Lenox had to catch his breath. He asked her what code she was referring to for a closed session. LesCallette drew a blank, so Puppet Cathcart tried to slip her a lifeline with “Legal issues?” LesCallette said, “Uh, the legality of what we’re being asked to do,” or some such. Lenox jumped back with a couple of criteria needed to hold a closed meeting and LesCallette seemed stumped. Finally, Lenox, as gentlemanly as he could, tells her this doesn’t meet criteria for a closed meeting.

Oooookaaay. LesCallette finally “got it” and asked the Commission their wishes, i.e., give us a motion, boys and girl, and let’s go home.

The resounding roar of rubber stamps pounding away was heard clear to the State Line. You cannot make this stuff up.


When Bill Duvall referred to "The Fix Is In," he wasn't kidding. Worse, both the Commission and the developers want to waste busy people's time pretending to listen. That just sucks.

The photos above of Lenox and LesCallette were taken exactly in the moment while the two argued over the rules.