Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest Country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens Northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
85-year and $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in The United States.
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR, even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
A Couple Finally Achieved Sexual Harmony . They had simultaneous Headaches.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only 5 illegitimate children.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what...
NOTHING will happen.
No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile, or, you might scare the living crap out of them.
I Love This Country! It's The Government That Scares Me!
Thank God, I will be dead by 2059.
DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
6 comments:
This was written in jest,but ironically accurate,except for Z Bush.Actually an Adams will be president in 2059.Mexico will have a status similar to Puerto Rico with the US and the world population will be much smaller that it is currently.Income tax will automatically be deducted from income and filing will have become obsolete.Children will be tested at nauseum to determine if advanced education will be necessary,eliminating at least 50% right off the bat.Food will be plentiful and the environment will be much improved from what it currently is.An actual drivers license will not be necessary unless used to drive a collectible antique that requires actual hands on proficiency.95% of all vehicles will drive themselves.Actual cash will rarely be used,but will still be printed in small quantities.world hunger will be a thing of the past.
will obammy still b king?
OweBama will still be a crappy golfer.
DT will come on a roll with serrated 4x4 inch square sheets; ink won't rub off.
Cubbies still won't have won a world series.
NASCAR will have folded after changing to Prius race configuration with NBC, Whole Foods and Starbucks as sponsors.
Mrs. Bill Clinton was accidentally splashed with a bucket of water and melted. The spot of her demise is still a Superfund site.
Trump bought NASCAR for pennies and reinvigorated it by returning it to actual racing ala Petty, Yarborough, Pearson era.
Politically correct speech... We'll see this one around 2030 - or sooner:
"A W-word called a N-word an A-word, which started a W-word in the G-word. The P-word intervened, but the C-words blocked access."
The NSA would be all over any precise dates regarding that issue 3:57.
Surely by then, donkeys will fly.
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