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Monday, June 22, 2015

Matt Barber: Transwhatever

Hold on.

Courage, Matt, courage.


OK, I’m ready.

This is it. I’m coming out. I want the world to know. I’m a black, lesbian platypus trapped in a white, straight guy’s body. This is my truth. It’s my experience. It’s how I identify. It’s my reality (actual reality notwithstanding).

Transracial, transgender and transpecies lives matter (#TransLivesMatter), and I’m declaring myself an out and proud member of the LGBTTT community.

Crazy, you say? Don’t judge me, hater. This is my race-species-gender identity and expression, whether real or perceived, and if you refuse to play along, then you’re violating my civil rights.

This is my struggle. I demand admission to the wrong bathrooms and showers, the right to play for the other sports teams and unfettered access to your children so I can indoctrinate them till they can’t see straight, or I’ll ruin you.

Identify me by whichever stupid pronoun I invent, you cisgender, cisracial, cisspecies bigot, or I’ll glitter bomb you so bad that you’ll be slightly inconvenienced.

Move over, Caitlyn Jenner.

You’re yesterday’s news, Rachel Dolezal.

I’m here! I’m, er, whatever! Get used to it!



Shiite Christian said...

Thank you, somebody had to come out and say it out loud. Don't forget to take selfies along the way and post them to 37 social media sites to back up your "Reality"


Anonymous said...

This would be amusingly funny if it wasn't so true.

Anonymous said...

Liberals are always in a state of confusion since there is no absolute right or wrong. It's only going to get worse until we say the Hell with political correctness, enough is enough.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Yesterday in comments i left one basically say the same thing except that I felt and think I was an elephant so yesterday I was. Today I think I feel like I am zebra, so I am, at least for now...till I feel I think I am something else...Welcome to the world of Dr. Seuss!