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Friday, September 07, 2012

HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads ......

Bubba,

Me and Marcel, Cooter Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer.

Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait outside. Be right back.

Cletus

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey it doesnt have to be southern. My security system has looked like this for years. It works very well. Have never had even an attempted break in. Oh maybe that's because the dogs behind the door are real and so is the pistol grip 12 gauge.

Anonymous said...

Very high tech -- works for me!

Anonymous said...

Love it!

Anonymous said...

You are assuming the bad guys can read!