PIPKIN MAKES IT OFFICIAL

For those on Blognetnews, there are more photos attached to article.

Pipkin announced this morning he will run for the 1st District Seat for Congress and join Andy Harris and Wayne Gilchrest who are obvious front runners.

Although the Pipkin Campaign stated they have three months to run this race, their math isn't all that great as they have just over 2 months to do so.

Just recently Pipkin realized that concerned Maryland Citizens reached out and asked him to run for Office and he has heard their cry. Pipkin was challenged by Mark McIver when he flat out stated Pipkin sounded like he was running on the exact same platform as the Harris Campaign.

Pipkin seemed to be agitated by that question and asked him what News Source he was from. Mark replied, I'm a taxpayer in Maryland stating how I feel and asking a simple question. Do you have anything else you're running on other than what Andy Harris is?

Pipkin stated the negative campaigning by Gilchrest & Harris is like an atomic bomb going off and he's going to change that. I'll have more to say on this Press Conference later today.

Delmarva Model Railroad Holds 1st Open House Of The Year This Weekend

Ladies & Gentlemen, truly, if you have not been to this event, GO! There is no admission and I can't think of a child on this earth that wouldn't completely enjoy what these guys have to offer!

So gather your child or grandchild and head into Delmar and get the hell out of the Malls! See You There!

The City Of Salisbury Falls Way Behind!

The City of Salisbury's Financial report for the 1st quarter of FY08, which ended 2 months ago, has still not been filed

GO HERE to see more.

Where's the Audit as well, Barrie & Louise?

Rumor Has It Gilchrest Will Retire

Could the pressure be on with tomorrows announcement Pipkin will join the race that Gilchrest knows he can't win between Pipkin and Harris?

Red Maryland Blog thinks so. Or should I say, so he's been told? By whom, I wonder?

You Just Gotta Love Boss Hogg!

It's well past noon on day-7 of the 7-day ultimatum from Dr. Daffy of Boss Hogg's Pocomoke City.

FYI Dr Daffy is demanding through counsel, that we publish a 1/4-page ad in a local tabloid about her or she will file a lawsuit. No response from Dr Daffy or Mr Cornflakes on the proposed content so we are going to have a contest 'Can you read Dr Daffy's mind?' There are two (2) categories website apology and FOUR 1/4 page tabloid advertisements

Lets play 'Guess what Dr. Daffy want's us to print' because all her lawyer said was to secure competent representation because the Daffy Clock was ticking... In my response to Ernie Corn_ _ _ _ _ _ (name the players is a new part of the contest) the statement "...It is very difficult to locate a competent attorney on the Eastern Shore..." has proven true because competent counsel would have written and provided the ad copy with the demand.

Pocomoke Tattler readers have not had this much fun since we played 'Lets find a tag on Cane's Used Cars' going on 3-years 7-cars last week but no tags on anything at 'Ground Zero' for Pocomokes Open Air Drug Market on Fourth Street... Honiss Cane is one of Boss Hogg's City Councilmen for you new readers here.

Possible subject matter: The election of officers for the Pocomoke City Chamber of Commerce was held last Wednesday at the Upper Deck with 17 members reported to be in attendance. It has been verified that Dr. Daffy took the ballots and instead of counting and announcing the winner as has been tradition she took the ballot box, by herself to go to the chamber building to "count ALL of the ballots" after having the locks changed on the building that morning.

It's not like she has Boss Hoggs collection of goat pictures to protect its the chamber of commerce who can't even afford to repair the furnace but new locks were the unilateral decision for election day by Dr. Daffy so she could lock out any nosey members and count the votes in private.

It's Pocomoke...


[See the attached file]

The rules of the contest are simple;

Submit anything you want your guess is as good as mine.

Copy - Pictures - Text or whatever?

No Profanity or Pornography

You may submit as many entries as you like but each entry must be separate.

e-mail entries to bosshogg@pocomoketattler.com

Or post using the comments feature

Really good one liner responses will qualify for runner up position so please don't be bashful

Winner will be treated to a Barbeque Feast with the Billy Burkes in Pocomoke City.

First Runner Up will win a seat with Billy Burke at Pocomoke City Hall for a City Council Meeting.

Second & Third Prizes have not been determined yet but they will be interesting.

Remember we need FOUR (4) 1/4 page ads tabloid size where you will

READ DR.DAFFY's MID TO GUESS WHAT SHE WANTS

Then there is the find the comments to retract and guess what type of retraction should be published for 30-days on the Pocomoke Tattler.

Right about now I am guessing that Dr. Daffy is Russ Blakes favorite person in the world but don't worry Boss we have not forgotten you.

Let the games begin!

SPD Goes 7 Days Without A Single Press Release

As I know many of you enjoy reading the Salisbury Police Department Press Releases, they simply have not produced one since 11-21-07.

As soon as I get word they will start releasing them again, I'll keep you posted. Till then, no news is good news, I guess?

Why The Daily Times Can't Deliver!!!!!!!

As you can clearly see, The Daily Times is constantly running ads like the one I found in today's paper for delivery people. Now why, (might you ask) are they constantly running these ads? Well I've got the EXCLUSIVE answer!

The Daily Times only pays 8 cents per paper, (Monday through Saturday) to be delivered! On Sunday they pay $ 0.24 cents per paper and the drivers have to insert all the sale ads.

Now think about that for a minute. If you deliver 100 Newspapers, that's only $8.00 for the day! If you deliver 1,000 papers that's only $80.00 for the day! I can assure you there aren't many 1,000 papers being delivered by a single driver.

Now if you happen to think that's fair, allow me to continue. The delivery drivers are independent contractors. This means they have their own vehicles, they pay their own automobile insurance and more importantly THEY PAY FOR THEIR OWN GAS! At $3.00 per gallon, drivers are quitting left and right and rightfully so!

While everyone else out there is paying a fuel surcharge, LIKE BOTTLED WATER TO THE CITY GOB, these drivers get NOTHING! Oh, and that Thanksgiving Paper that was thicker than ANY paper delivered all year, they get paid $0.08 cents a piece for that paper! Even though the end user pays $1.25 for that paper, even though they make more money on that paper than any other paper they produce all year, the delivery people get eight cents to deliver it to you.

So it's no wonder this ad is constantly running to get people suckered into delivering papers and it's also no wonder why the Newspaper Business is failing.

Gilchrist Must Go

November 28, 2007 6:00 AM

Gilchrist Must Go And other Republican Growth opportunities.

An NRO Q&A

GO HERE for the official article.

Former Pennsylvania Republican congressman is president of the Club for Growth. In preparation for Wednesday night’s Republican debate, National Review Online editor Kathryn Lopez checked in with him for some quick Republican field assessments.

Kathryn Jean Lopez: Is Mike Huckabee really as bad as you say he is?

Pat Toomey: He’s every bit as bad, and you don’t have to just take our word for it. Jonah Goldberg, you and your fellow editors at National Review, Bob Novak, and John Fund — to name just a few conservative writers — agree that Mike Huckabee is no conservative. You can read the Club’s white paper on our website, but here is a quick summary of Huckabee’s worst hits. According to the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, the average Arkansas tax burden increased 47% over Huckabee’s tenure. Huckabee supported (in chronological order) a sales tax hike; gas and diesel fuel tax hikes; another sales tax hike; a cigarette tax hike; a nursing home bed tax; another sales tax hike; an income surcharge tax; a tobacco tax hike; taxes on Internet access; and higher beer taxes. Huckabee also oversaw a 50-percent increase in spending; happily signed a minimum wage increase and encouraged national Republicans to do the same; favors a national smoking ban, farm subsidies, and a federally mandated arts and music curriculum; opposes private school choice; and employs class-warfare and protectionist language on the campaign trail. Huckabee calls himself an economic conservative in the mold of Ronald Reagan, but the above list doesn’t sound like either.

Lopez: You’ve been hitting him hard for months. Did you see this Iowa surge coming?

Toomey: We considered it a possibility, but our main motivation was to educate the public about the candidates’ various economic records. When Huckabee tried to sell his tax-and-spend record as a paragon of economic conservatism, we felt a responsibility to set the record straight.

Lopez: When are you going to start inundating Iowa with anti-Huckabee commercials?

Toomey: Stay tuned.

Lopez: Is the Club going to endorse anyone before the new year?

Toomey: Unlikely, but not something we’ve completely ruled out.

Lopez: Are you going to personally endorse anyone?

Toomey: I have no plan to do so at this point.

Lopez: How can the guy who ran against Arlen Specter even consider, say, Rudy?

Toomey: Let me be clear — I am speaking personally, not in my capacity as Club for Growth president.

Where do I begin? Arlen Specter does not contain a conservative bone in his body.

While Rudy Giuliani is a self-proclaimed liberal on many important social issues, he is a proven economic conservative, strong on foreign policy, tough on terrorism (perhaps the understatement of the year), and favors conservative judges. In contrast, Arlen Specter is a consummate liberal who never met a spending bill he didn’t like and a committed porker. He voted against CAFTA and permanent normal trade relations with China, joined with Ted Kennedy in borking Robert Bork’s Supreme Court nomination, and recently nearly accused Justices Alito and Roberts of lying during their nomination proceedings.

The list goes on: Specter voted for McCain-Feingold; voted against medical savings accounts; voted for price controls; voted for Medicare Part D; voted for the Bridge to Nowhere; voted to increase the minimum wage; voted to make it easier to raise taxes; voted for the cigarette tax hike contained in the overbloated S-CHIP bill; and voted for S-CHIP. On foreign policy issues, perhaps the best way to sum up the difference between Mayor Giuliani and Senator Specter is this interesting tidbit: Rudy Giuliani kicked Yasser Arafat out of Lincoln Center while Arlen Specter frequently enjoys tea with the Syrian dictator, Bashar al-Assad. The differences between Specter and Giuliani are many, and while Mayor Giuliani parts ways with conservatives on a number of social issues, overall, there is no comparison.

Lopez: Which Republicans must be defeated in 2008?

Toomey: If there is one Republican who must be shown the door, it is Representative Wayne Gilchrest (Md., 1). Representing the conservative First Congressional District in Maryland, Rep. Gilchrest is one of the most economically liberal Republicans in Congress, ranking 212th on the Club for Growth’s 2006 scorecard.

His anti-growth votes read like a “RINO of the Year” award. He recently broke his anti-tax pledge, not once, but twice, voting for the Farm Bill, including a tax hike on foreign companies, and for a tax hike on oil companies. He feels no compunction about wasting taxpayer dollars, whether he’s voting for mohair and Viagra subsidies or against every anti-pork amendment (for which he was present) in 2007 and 2006. In a blow to political free speech, Gilchrest supported McCain-Feingold and the so-called 527 Reform Bill last year. Of course, there’s his vote to increase the minimum wage and his vote against an amendment restricting eminent domain abuse — and well, I could go on for a long time.

In contrast, his opponent, Maryland State Senator Andy Harris, has a long record of fighting for taxpayers at the local level, leading the fight against the Wal-Mart Tax Bill in the Maryland State Senate and sponsoring repeal of the Maryland inheritance tax. Harris has successfully ousted a Republican incumbent before, has been endorsed by former Maryland Republican Governor Bob Ehrlich, and is outraising Gilchrest. A Harris victory in the February primary will be a decisive victory for the conservative movement.

Lopez: Where is the Club focusing its efforts next year?

Toomey: The Club for Growth will be focusing its efforts on two fronts. In the presidential race, we will continue to be an arbiter of economic conservatism among the various presidential and vice-presidential candidates. We hope to encourage the candidates to adopt bold pro-growth platforms and to continue to educate the public about the candidates’ respective records and policy proposals.

On the congressional level, the Club for Growth PAC will be supporting an impressive group of economically conservative candidates in key House and Senate races across the country. These include Senator John Sununu in New Hampshire, former Rep. Bob Schaffer in Colorado, State Senator Andy Harris in Maryland’s First Congressional District, and former County Treasurer and State Representative David Schweikert in Arizona’s Fifth Congressional District.

Lopez: What's your biggest concern about Republicans this election season?

Toomey: The biggest concern is the ongoing struggle between those Republicans who want to continue down the disastrous road of big-government conservatism that doomed the Party in the 2006 cycle and those who want to return the Republican Party to its economically conservative roots. While some Republicans in Congress are putting up a fight to limit government, many Republicans have their hands permanently in taxpayers’ pockets and are not very happy about the concerted effort to remove them.

A Year Ago Today

One year ago the Delmar Fire Department and several others were working their tails off to put out this abandoned barn fire.

Wicomico County Neighborhood Congress

Last night the WCNC Held a meeting in Hebron that was very well attended. Whenever Michael Shwartz covers an event in such detail, I'm not going to throw out my side of it as I firmly believe his coverage is far more detailed than ANY other news source out there, anywhere. Therefore, enjoy the hits Michael.

That being said, GO HERE for the details and additional pictures. I will add however, there were 50 people there, not 75 and at least 10 of them were with the Neighborhood Congress. That's still a well attended meeting.

I'll add, No 47 News. No 16 News. Joe G. from the Daily Times showed up in the very last part of it and was dragging anyone and everyone he could into the hall to catch up on what he missed. A good politician would tell him whatever they wanted their message to be at that point because they would know he missed everything. LOL Perhaps IF my paper ever arrives today I'll get to see what he planted in the paper?

A Message from Jim Ireton:

"What made the meeting a success was that issues were discussed without the environment turning sour. With the facts and figures presented by Mr. Sartori, Mr. Lenox, and Ms. Gordy coupled with the townspeople in Hebron being able to hear from local activists and Hebron's own Planning and Zoning Board...I don't know if you could fit any more into a meeting! The goal of the congress to educate and organize was realized last night. Wicomico County, by one estimate will have 117,000 people by 2030, so I'm grateful to be involved because I'll be 60 years old and still driving to work every morning! We now begin planning for January 29, 2008 when we will convene in Delmar to host a community forum on crime. Everyone involved in the congress has put so much hard work into getting this started, it is nice to see the organization moving forward. Thanks for the coverage."

Spanking Your Child Could Soon Be Illegal

Well.....it seems as though the Massachusetts legislature is moving toward one of the most blatant violations of parents rights since enacting laws permitting schools to provide birth control without the permission of the parents.

They are entertaining legislation now that would OUTLAW spanking. All anyone has to do anymore is to initiate a most ridiculous plan and push it forward under the auspices of being in the "best interest of the children" and it will pass. We can all rest assured that any further tying of the hands of parents with new laws concocted by wacko, left wing social workers with a Ph. D. will get the same results they always have - more children without boundaries becoming juvenile delinquents and ultimately adult criminals.

Spare the rod......spoil the child. If it's in the Bible, how can it be a lie?

Andy Haris, Coming Soon To A Home Near You

This is yet another exclusive from Salisbury News as The Daily Times was invited to join the Harris Campaign yesterday for a completely packed day, they chose not to attend? That wouldn't have anything to do with Greg Bassett's Wife and her connection with Gilchrest, would it?????

Nevertheless, Andy Harris was knocking door to door yesterday throughout Ocean Pines shaking hands and spreading his message. Funny part is, everyone he spoke to already knew who he was and stated they were definitely voting for him. That being said, he didn't have to spend all that extra time selling them on a pitch, he was a shoe in and Gilchrest is on his way out!

Joining the Andy Harris posse were two Reporters ALL THE WAY FROM WASHINGTON, D.C. and NOT Salisbury were two gentlemen from the ROLL CALL, the Newspaper of Capitol Hill since 1955.

The message Andy has been putting out obviously hit home to many and it seems clear there's going to be a change in Congress very soon.

NO DAILY TIMES AGAIN TODAY!

The Daily Times has once again failed to deliver the daily paper. Perhaps they're complaining about PRODUCTION PROBLEMS again since their new facility that isn't supposed to be open can't shove those inserts in the paper there any longer and they're having trouble producing a paper at all? All I can tell you is, I DON'T HAVE MY PAPER!

50 MPH?

You have most of the Maryland Highways that are only 55 MPH, yet you can drive through congested Salisbury at 50 MPH? It sure makes you wonder just how smart these SHA Engineers are, doesn't it? Then I think about Business Rt. 50 through Downtown Salisbury that is what, 35 MPH? There aren't cars popping in and out of everywhere along that strip, yet it's only 35 MPH!

We were talking in my vehicle yesterday as I was driving to Ocean Pines about the light at Perdue Stadium on Rt. 50. It seems IF you do the speed limit and head towards Wor-Wic, there's no doubt that light will be red if the light at Perdue was red as well.

So what freakin Idiot SHA Engineer came up with these gas saving ideas? Oh, perhaps no one has complained enough to get these Idiots to sincronize these lights? However, yesterday was a much different situation because guess who we had riding next to us when all of this was going on? That's right, Dee, Dee, Deeee, SHA Comegys. What do they give a damn, they drive around using taxpayers money for all their gas.

I Can't Drive Till I Can Count How Many Fingers I Have Up!

This adult was swinging on the swing set in the Park for literally hours when I took this shot. Goes to show you, the Park isn't just for kids to enjoy.

The Sunday Daily Times

Two weeks ago I received this Sunday Paper from The Daily Times. Now don't get me wrong, I'm grateful the damn thing arrived at all. However, it truly was thinner than any week day paper and as you can see, the inserts and total paper WERE NOT worth the $1.25 they charged me for. Then I thought back to the Thanksgiving paper and it not being on a Sunday, yet they charged $1.25 for it as well? It's no wonder they opened up the new facility and are doing the inserts out of there because it clearly shows what they're doing on Carroll Street isn't cutting it either. Ocean City was the best though, We used to get three weekly papers for free. Granted, we had to pick them up at the local store but so what.

Car Wash Finally About To Open

The future Oasis Car Wash behind Circuit City and next to Sam's Club is in the final stages of being complete. This project has been sitting for 2 years now and you have to wonder just who or what held it up all this time? Perhaps some readers can answer that question.

OC Cops Lost?

Yesterday I watched this vehicle filled to the brim with people inside passing Sam's Club on Rt. 13 heading south. Well, at least they were car pooling. It reminded me of watching a regular daily SPD Vehicle doing it's normal rounds, filled with Officers because they have no spare vehicles. Too many Officers, not enough vehicles. Would that be caused by "Management?" Let's hire them because we need them but whoops, I forgot, we don't have any CARS! I wonder how many times you'll find a SPD vehicle in OC? Oh, that's right, I should say, a MARKED SPD Vehicle. There used to be a BLACK unmarked one at Seacrets all the time with a bald guy driving it, so I'm told. Was he lost too?

Longtime Journal Staffer Ron Bender Killed In Maryland.

Longtime Journal news editor Ron Bender was killed Monday in Gaithersburg, Md., in a traffic accident.

According to a story in the Washington Post, Bender was crossing a street on foot toward an area shopping center when he was hit just before he reached the median strip.

For more of this story, click on or type the URL below:

HERE.

Sean Taylor, NFL Redskins Safety Dies Of Gunshot Wound

The Daily Times has a detailed description of what happened HERE.

Taylor was shot in the leg in his own home and lost too much blood from the wound. Although his Family was hopeful after Taylor squeezed the hand of a nurse yesterday, he died early this morning.

Michael Shwartz Has An Excellent Review Of Last Night

GO HERE to see a detailed article on the meeting and visit from Andy Harris at the Wicomico County Republican Club last night.

Big Brother Is Watching!

house.gov Washington, District of... 10:55:08 am 2 12:02
http://sbynews.blogspot.com/2007...ional-candidate-andy-harris.html

house.gov Washington, District of... 10:46:49 am 2 0:08
http://sbynews.blogspot.com/2007...ional-candidate-andy-harris.html

Don't tell me this Blog isn't popular in Washington, D.C.! Looks like SOMEONE is keeping a keen eye on Andy Harris. Thanks for coming by. It's no wonder Blognetnews rates us the #1 Political on a regular basis.

Now get back to work!

Hey Barrie, Hey Louise, Where's The Audit?

Gilchrest Is An Idiot & So Are You If You Vote For Him

Ladies & Gentlemen, what you see here is 4 brochures paid for BY YOU, mailed out to YOU at YOUR expense and the Idiot Gilchrest wants to suggest in one of them that he'll lead the way in protecting YOUR tax dollars? What, is this guy just a flat out advertised retard? Who just paid for the brochures? Who just paid the postage? It's no wonder Bill Duvall supports a guy like Wayne, they've both lost it in the mind!

I am not on the Andy Harris Campaign and this is my personal opinion only. Wayne, you're an Idiot!

Another Politician who, (IMO) is desperate and will steal from the Taxpayers and lie at their expense just to get voted back into Office. This is what we don't need in Washington. I don't care what excuse they make, this guy Gilchrest is a scumbag.

Lore' Chambers Advises The Mayor

Might I suggest you close and button that jacket Mayor. It's a bit nippy in here.

I know, I know, thousands of you just lost their breakfast! LOL

Chiefy Webster Cracks Down On Another Officer For Speaking To Me

Two weeks ago I held a casual conversation with a Salisbury Police Officer in which the Mayor got up out of her seat during the Council Meeting and raced through the back door of the Council Chambers, through the offices and into the hallway and came around the corner near the entrance of the Council Chambers like she was about to sack a quarterback!

Sadly for the Idiot Mayor, we had finished our conversation by then and the Officer was headed back into the room and the Mayor lost her opportunity to stop yet ANOTHER person from speaking to Joe Albero.

The next thing I know, this very Officer has been spanked by Chiefy Webster because Chiefy is a paranoid Idiot just like the Mayor has proven to be and Little Johnny on the playground isn't going to play those games, right Chiefy?

As far as I'm concerned, I think you're both scumbags who throw their weight around and intimidate anyone working for the City if they say a word to me. Today I will speak to my Lawyers and ask that they consider suing the Chiefy and Mayor for telling others they cannot speak to all forms of media sources.

I don't know what they'll tell me but what I will say is, I'm not afraid of these two Idiots. I will say this to the Chiefy. Following me around in your car, then laughing about it. Threatening your own Staff if they speak to me. Oh, you're a tough guy. Mike Lewis is a thousand times the man you are. He's a lot taller than you too.

There are MANY words I've refrained from using here only because of a lawsuit but IF that were not in place, trust me, I'd have a lot more to say about these two Idiots. I cannot wait for this to go to trial!

The Old Mall Is Finally Gone

This photo was taken one month ago to this date. The photo below is from the same area 30 days later.


Although I took these photos yesterday in the hopes of Posting them right away, things got quite hectic yesterday with the Council Meeting, then the Republican Club Special Guest Andy Harris and finally a meet and greet with Andy last night that ended around Midnight! So needless to say, by the time I got home, cleared out my e-mail and hit the sack, I was pooped and still am!

Nevertheless, I saw The Daily Times has similar photos and they beat me to the punch. Nevertheless, I'm working out of my Office/Home LEGALLY and I'm a Staff of one, not 200+. It's not often they'll beat me to the punch but you know what, it's tough being #1 all the time. Sometimes I just need a break. LMAO!

Our Tree Is Already Up, Is Yours?

Coming To A Rear View Mirror Near You!

The Wicomico County Sheriff's Department has gone Hemified! Several brand new Dodge Hemi Chargers have hit the streets and the one thing I can tell you about these vehicles, you're not going to see them coming! Decked out with the latest technology, these Stealth Vehicles will provide additional performance not seen in traditional Crown Vic's. I don't know about you buy my personal Auto Insurance Company loves vehicles like this because they snag those pesky speeders, (ME) and in the end we not only pay for the vehicle in our taxes, we pay for them in the end with our Auto Insurance. LOL

I'll challenge ANY of of the Deputies to a performance test. My Cobra Mustang against their Hemi Charger. Mine has 550 HP. YOURS?

True Tool Definitions

1. DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching
flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in
the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it
against that freshly painted part you were drying.
2. WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere
under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes
fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the
time it takes you to say, "Ouch...."
3. ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in
their holes until you die of old age.
4. PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
5. HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija
board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked,
unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its
course, the more dismal your future becomes.
6. VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is
available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat
to the palm of your hand.
7. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting
the grease inside a wheel hub you're trying to get the bearing
race out of.
8. WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars
and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that
9/16 or ½ socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.
9. HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the
ground after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping
the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
10. EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering an automobile
upward off a hydraulic jack handle.
11. TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.
12. PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another
hydraulic floor jack.
13. SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool
for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-do off your
boot.
14. E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt
holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
15. TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the
tensile strength of bolts and fuel lines you may have forgotten to
disconnect.
16. CRAFTSMAN ½ x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying
tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip
on the end without the handle.
17. AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
18. TROUBLE LIGHT: The home builder's own tanning booth. Sometimes
called drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine
vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health
benefits aside, it's main purpose is to consume 40-watt
light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells
might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of
the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat
misleading.
19. PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style
paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be
used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.
20. AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a
coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into
compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact
wrench that grips rusty bolts last tightened 70 years ago by
someone at Ford, and rounds them off.
21. PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip
or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
22. HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses ½ inch too short.
23. HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer
nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive
parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
24. MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly
well on boxes containing seats, chrome and plastic parts.

Andy Harris On Bill Reddish Show At 7:40 AM Today

Andy Harris returns to the Bill Reddish this morning. Don't miss it! That's 1320 AM Radio.