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Wednesday, April 06, 2011

WHY I VOTED DEMOCRATIC

Top 12 Reasons....A List That Explains Most Everything
 
*When your friends cannot explain why they voted for Democrats, give them this list.  They can then pick their reasons from this "TOP 12"...* 
 
1. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't. 
 
2. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would. 
 
3. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. 
 
4. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers
and thieves. 
 
5. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away
in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius. 
 
6. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive. 
 
7. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits. 
 
8. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit. 
 
9. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never
get their agendas past the voters. 
 
10. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher. 
 
11. I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised "HOPE AND CHANGE". 
 
12. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

8 comments:

Alex said...

Why I Voted Republican
Because I believe we really are a monarchy, not a democracy and that the President should have the powers of a King.

Because I believe the Constitution is just a goddamn piece of paper.

Because the rule of force trumps the rule of law.

Because we need more poor people.

Because an obese drug addict with a radio show told me to.

Because I love catchy phrases like "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" and "BRING 'EM ON."

Because clean air is so darn overrated.

Because the thought of torturing people brings me close to orgasm.

Because "habeus corpus" was dreamed up by a bunch of men wearing tights.

Because I think my chances of getting salmonella are very low.

Because facts are for liberal weaklings.

Because when I finally get wealth and power I damned well aim to keep it forever.

Because the idea of bombing Iran makes me salivate.

Because gays don't deserve civil rights.

Because rape victims don't deserve abortion rights.

Because the unregulated free-market is working so well.

Because I like Big Brother reading my emails.

Because we don't have enough Nukes yet.

Because America rightfully belongs to white Christians.

Because hate is more powerful than hope.

Because $75 billion profit in three months isn't enough for Big Oil, I want to give them more.

Because I love the tax loop holes we created that allow Big Oil to keep all that money.

Because I believe greedy corporations will do the right thing for me.

Because if you don't think exactly like I do you must be a socialist commie.

Because Sarah Palin really knows what she is talking about.

Because "white guilt" is an actual thing.

Because I believe repeating the same disastrous harmful policies and approaches over and over again are good for the country and if the Democrats have a good idea, I'll pray that it fails miserably regardless of who that hurts because better a miserable conservative American than a prospering liberal one.

Because my head is so firmly planted up my *** that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

Anonymous said...

Damn Alex, you just described Obama. Tavx breaks for his buddy Imelt and all. Democrats philosophy of cheat, steal and lie.

Anonymous said...

At least Alex's last sentence was truthful.

Anonymous said...

11:01 I told you all last week that it was. That is where most democrats are or maybe up Obamas.

Anonymous said...

I voted Democrat because I can't trust the Republicans anymore after GW Bush.

Otherwise Democrats and Republicans are two sides of the same corrupted coin.

Anonymous said...

Lmao that is a funny list..not yours Alex. Alex did describe how Obama's mind most likely functions....perfectly...how ever Obama is quite the flip flop artist lately. Alex's list is how far left wingers see ALL conservatives...funny list Joe, that your work or did you find that?

Unknown said...

I think we should outlaw any members of either party from holding a government job and actually find some intelligent life out there.

Anonymous said...

And, I voted for Republicans because I want to make sure the top millionaires and billioniares will continue to receive tax breaks they lobby for.