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Wednesday, July 04, 2018

Semper Bumble: Are Marines taking to dating app to find new recruits?

Picture this: In the midst of furiously swiping right at a pace comparable to the rounds-per-minute emission of an M240 machine gun, your Bumble app halts.

Boom! It’s a match!

Exuberant possibilities flood your mind as you inspect your possible suitor’s profile.

Good looking? Absolutely. Responsible professional? Appears to be a job recruiter, so, yes. Lives nearby? Has reliable transportation? Decent sense of humor? Check, check and check.

Suddenly, a push notification surfaces on your phone’s home screen — your new match has messaged you.

“Wow, that was fast!” you think, beginning to blush as your previous exuberance ascends to a full-blown 20-foot oceanic wave of positivity you expertly ride with the skill of legendary surfer Laird Hamilton.

And then, with the snap of a finger, everything crumbles. Your match is someone entirely different than you imagined.

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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

They wouldn't have to if they would STOP throwing men and women out for stupid offense.

Anonymous said...

I knew a guy I served with had been thrown out because he didn't look good in uniform. He passed all PT TESTS with flying colors. Yet his body was awkward. They threw him out. An E5 with 6 years of service. Yet they allow thugs off the street to become RECRUITED. That's why I got out. Unfortunately the military is becoming another wing of the democrats. ANOTHER form of welfare.

Anonymous said...

They could always lie to them to get them to join up. Like they did with my buddy and I in "68.