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Monday, July 31, 2017

Chesapeake Bay To Be Drained, Cleaned, Refilled On Thursday


NORFOLK, Va. — Officials with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s (NOAA) Chesapeake Bay Office announced this morning their plans to drain, clean, and refill the Bay this Thursday.

This operation marks the first effort to clean the Bay since its construction was completed 35.5 million years ago. “The Chesapeake Bay is an incredible natural wonder,” commented Martin Randalls, NOAA Director, “But she’s way overdue for a scrub.”

The 64,299-square-mile drainage basin has been the focus of organized cleanup efforts since the 1980s to combat industrial pollution, toxic waste, algae blooms, and some minor staining. “We want a bay for future generations to enjoy, for wildlife to continue to thrive in, and, ultimately, we also want to protect the resale value,” commented Alison Masters of Beach and Bay Realty, a sponsor of the project. “God forbid Virginia needs to sell one day, but a good cleaning every once in awhile is a great way to protect your investment, just in case.”

Officials have asked recreational boaters, commercial fishermen, and all plant and wildlife to avoid the estuary between 10 p.m. Wednesday and 9 a.m. Friday.

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15 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL, that right there is funny. Some folks will believe it!

Jim said...


I love it.

Anonymous said...

I read that headline and thought "Let's see how many react to this".
"You ain't draining my bay!!"
"Where they going to put all the water while they drain it??"
Too funny. thanks for the parody.

Anonymous said...

Hey don't laugh folks......sounds like something our mayor would come up with.

Rebel Without a Clue said...

Just imagine all of the bodies that they'll find around the port of Baltimore!

Anonymous said...

Can they give us a few hours to collect fishing tackle, sunglasses, cellphones and GoPros?

Anonymous said...

They think they are draining a kids swimming pool ! Lol guess they may find bodies , guns and money .

Anonymous said...

Just think of all the guns they will find!

Anonymous said...

This will surely raise the price of blue crabs.

Anonymous said...

They're doing it to deep Creek lake.

Anonymous said...

Good day to play golf at a Bayfront golf course! I'll be able to find my ball!

Anonymous said...

Don't get your hopes up Maryland, only the Virginia portion of the Chesapeake Bay will be cleansed. It has been determined the salty waters of the Atlantic Ocean flowing into lower part of the Bay (Virginia) area will be easier to clean than the Northern section (Maryland) where water is less salty, making the water brackish. Further up the Bay is the Washington D C area of the Bay which is quite swampy. Many studies have been done of this area, hoping to clean the swamp. Unfortunately congress is fighting this tooth and nails. It appears the President will need to intervene before this project is completed.

Anonymous said...

8:25, thanks for the update. The damning will still go on, whether it's between States or DC. Damning up the Bay will just make the job more difficult. Damn!@

Anonymous said...

if successful, the Pacific Ocean will be the next target of cleansing in this fashion!

Mike Rother said...

I sure hope this job is being done by commercial drainers. If the government does it, it will take years, if not decades.