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Wednesday, May 24, 2017

A MALE FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, 

"Will you marry me?"
The Princess immediately said, "No!"
And the Prince lived happily ever after, and
rode motorcycles and dated thin, long-legged,
full-breasted women, and hunted and fished 
and
raced cars, and went to titty bars and
dated ladies half his age 
 
and
drank whiskey, beer, and Captain Morgan, and
never heard bitching 
 
and
never paid child support or alimony, and
dated cheerleaders and  
kept his house and guns, and ate spam and
potato chips and beans, and  
blew enormous farts, and
never got cheated on while he was at work, 
 
and
all his friends and family thought
he was friggin' cool as hell, 
 
and
he had tons of money in the bank, and
left the toilet seat up.
The End.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very sad that this is the viewpoint of the typical bornheres. Most of them poked fun at their childhood friends that took school seriously and went away to college. Those that went away may not be any smarter than the ones that stayed here, but they made many new contacts, friends and met spouses. Only people with nothing to contribute to a relationship view their potential spouse as a barrier to enjoying a life long partnership. Locals that got married, had children, abandoned their responsibilities in the pursuit of hunting/fishing/drinking/fornication are the ones that blame their spouse for ruining their life.

Anonymous said...

Wow it's a joke! You need to get a sense of humor, I bet your a blast at parties.

Anonymous said...

Hell , this post is almost as good as Thornton Crowes , let me hear an Amen!

Anonymous said...

OK 3:19 we all know you're a woman and fail to see the humor in it, but me, I'm a red blooded Alpha Male and it was the best laugh I've had in a long time and believe me it ain't just guys from the eastern shore laughing.

Anonymous said...

3:19 have yourup of java with your soy cream, and after your husband fixes your breakfast and makes the bed, make sure he cleans the house and pick up your dry cleaning.
It was a freaking joke. Lighten up!
But what makes it funny is it's foundation in reality. Many married men are envious of our unattached friends...at least for a while. So, that is a statement in itself. Something is missing in our lives. And that, my friend, is happy wives.
Oh, yeah, btw, I'm not a born here...grew up in a more upscale neighborhood than you could dream of. The women there - who have everything from their p-whipped husbands- are still unsatisfied while they buy their lattes in their Land Cruisers after they drop off the next generation of aspiring little bitches at their horseback lessons.
We try our best to make you happy; return the favor.

Anonymous said...

3:19 Boy you are salty! Did your husband leave you or what?

Anonymous said...

Happy wife here with her happy husband😁
We both were cracking up laughing this morning reading this!
Then we read the first comment...BOOOOO!
Every party has a pooper.
Smile and have a nice day, everyone!!

Anonymous said...

funny, I'm a born here. and I went away to school. then I moved back and your dream of a lifelong partnership lasted 14 excruciating years. now I live the life of the prince. get over it. it was a joke. go make a baby cry or pluck the wings off a fly.

Anonymous said...

It's a joke, dude. Get a life!

Anonymous said...

One of the hidden pitfalls of marriage is that your lovely new bride might one day turn into a 3:19.

Anonymous said...

And, when he had a certain "Need", he took some of his mountain of cash and went out and rented a woman for an hour.

Anonymous said...

11:16 Absolutely! it happened to me and many of my friends.
Every heard the elevator joke where a woman was shopping at the man store and is never satisfied?

Anonymous said...

My kids are grown and there has been nothing going on in the bedroom for years. The idea of being single again is appealing. I would make it easy on her. She can have everything but the blame. Just let me have a car and my laptop and I'll be very happy with just a one bedroom apartment with all the conveniences.