As moms and dads, we probably don’t talk directly about rape to kids, at least not until they’re older. But we’re still sending messages about sex and consent all the time. Because of that, we need to make sure we’re not teaching them some very dangerous lessons, even if just by accident.
Here are six (very common) ways we get it wrong, and how we can do better …
1. Telling our kids that “boys will be boys.”
As a mom of very active boys, I know most people don’t mean any harm when they say “boys will be boys,” but too often that phrase is used to excuse bad behavior, like hitting other kids or being destructive.
The truth is, boys are perfectly capable of respecting other people’s bodies,possessions, and space. But every time they hear us excuse their bad behavior as part of boy life, they learn that they are not only above the rules, but also that boys cannot control their impulses.
This message will stick with them as they grow older and sexual desire starts to kick in. As parents, we cannot be shocked that boys feel entitled to sexually harass others (whether it’s standard rape, like in Steubenville, or as part of the all-too-common tradition of sexual “hazing”) when we’ve been telling them their whole lives that they are above the rules, by virtue of being boys.
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As a mom of very active boys, I know most people don’t mean any harm when they say “boys will be boys,” but too often that phrase is used to excuse bad behavior, like hitting other kids or being destructive.
The truth is, boys are perfectly capable of respecting other people’s bodies,possessions, and space. But every time they hear us excuse their bad behavior as part of boy life, they learn that they are not only above the rules, but also that boys cannot control their impulses.
This message will stick with them as they grow older and sexual desire starts to kick in. As parents, we cannot be shocked that boys feel entitled to sexually harass others (whether it’s standard rape, like in Steubenville, or as part of the all-too-common tradition of sexual “hazing”) when we’ve been telling them their whole lives that they are above the rules, by virtue of being boys.
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6 comments:
Terrible article. Number six is especially bad info.
Babble is a great name for the website. Alternately it could be called idiotic untested liberal drivel from someone who means well but hasn't yet raised a single kid to adulthood. Why not just tell Little Johnny to try not to rape anyone today? She should stick to fiction and quit dispensing silly advice.
How about just instilling a sense of right and wrong in your kids. Teach them compassion and equip them with A moral (not necessarily religious) compass.
10:54 PM - #6 bad? So young men are supposed to "sow their wild oats" but young women are supposed to abstain.
How exactly does that work?
Psycho-babble from a WOMAN trying to describe how boys and men think.
She doesn't hve a clue. Never will, either.
Quit making EXCUSES for bad behavior, whether its drugs, rape, violence, what ever. Some people are just bad. Some of them just need to be shot.
MILLIONS upon MILIIONS of boys (full of bravado and testosterone) have grown up and NEVER EVER raped anyone.
Never even thought about it.
What? Did this bimbo get a GRANT from some liberal scaredy cat, sensitive, sissie, thinned-skinned men hating group to further an agenda promoting the neutering and feminization of boys?
Keep cheering.
As soon as I saw "rape culture" I knew where this was going. It's a trigger word that made me seek a safe space. Away from her babble.
The web site say Babble "Courtesy of Disney".
Nuff said.
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