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Sunday, April 19, 2015

Being A Gentleman On The Shore Doesn't Pay Off Any More

OK, so I'm now 53 years old. I was raised in an era in which we were taught common courtesy. You know, like opening a car door for a woman. Holding a door open for anyone and everyone, (like above). Thank You was a must. Good Morning, Good Afternoon, May I help You. Have a Great Day. Smile when you are doing a good deed. Help an elderly person cross the street. The list goes on and on and you are welcome to add other qualities in comments if you like.

My point here is, it's second nature for me to hold a door open for ANYONE after I enter. Unfortunately, all to often any more people just walk in as if I were the door man and it is expected. No, Thank You. Well, I should say, it's very rare to hear a Thank You any more. In fact, last week I was with some friends and a woman was leaving the business. Immediately two guys started harassing the woman and we immediately walked up and said, let us walk you to your car. She immediately started giving us a hard time, calling us names.

It's unfortunate, (in my opinion) that we now live in a society in which people don't appreciate the kindness of others. A few years ago I encouraged people driving down the road to wave to a Police Officer and smile. A gesture in a way to say Thank You for your service. I can't tell you how many Police Officers thanked me for doing that because that day they were overwhelmed with people waving to them. 

Can't we get back to our old ways of being kind. Perhaps if we were to do more of it, people will start feeling just a little more comfortable about where we live and enjoy the quality of people we're surrounded with every day.

When I walk down the Plaza, (for example) I always say Good Morning, Good Afternoon to EVERYONE I pass. While most people reply, some just bow their head and keep walking. Some look up with a great big smile and reply with the same. It is rewarding when you can feel like you've just made somebody's day. 

Try it, you'll like it.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

not trying to sound racist but seems like black people are the main ones that say nothing. Just like they do not tip either at restaurants.

Anonymous said...

I am 52 and was also raised to be respectful to others. It is sad to see how things have changed for some. Many times I have been at the grocery store and by the time I leave, I feel like something is wrong with me, for smiling at others and getting no response. I also hold doors for anyone behind me, and so many times, there is no smile or thank you. It makes me happy when someone does smile back or says thank you.

Anonymous said...

At 49 and a white guy I do feel the same. I have discovered it takes two actions to get a positive response from someone. I'm all over town everyday and come across every type of people. Eye contact is all important. Holding a door with a "let me help you with that" may not get a response. But following it up with "have a great day" almost always gets some sort of acknowledgement. Even from the roughest looking , black or white.

Anonymous said...

Being a lady I really appreciate anyone holding a door for me. Yes, I was raised to say, Thank You, Hello, please, hold doors no matter who it is or what their race. Often in the grocery store things I need are on the top shelf, I will ask someone taller than me for help or offer to help someone else. Saying have a Good Day, Good Evening etc. Often saying Have a Blessed Day. People appreciate kindness more than we know.

Anonymous said...

people are caught up in their own little world for the most part. i get that. But then there are some, who, from their lack of acknowledgement when i hold the door for them, (or whatever) must feel they are entitled to such courtesies from a poor little white girl in her mid-forties who was raised with proper manners.

Anonymous said...

I used to hold a lot more doors open for people. But they often don't acknowledge the gesture - they'll walk in like they're entitled, keep on with their leisurely stroll, or just outright stop in the middle of the doorway for something "more important".

Now I just do it for people who could use some extra hands, like somebody accompanied by a young child or leaving the store with a lot of bags. They're almost always appreciative.

Anonymous said...

I remember years ago there was a cliché saying going around. It should be resurrected.

"Practice Random Acts of Kindness"

Anonymous said...

This is what has been taught to this generation by the media.

Anonymous said...

I open a door but if they say nothing i get pissed and say YOU'RE WELCOME. Real LOUD.

Anonymous said...

What else do you expect from welfare thug crowd.

Anonymous said...

Just continue to do the right thing regardless of the lack of appreciation. It's that simple




Anonymous said...

I find that most people do appreciate having a door held open for them and they do respond with a "thank you". It is the ones who were not taught proper manners that don't.

Anonymous said...

If it looks like a thug dont hold the door open.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Just continue to do the right thing regardless of the lack of appreciation. It's that simple





April 17, 2015 at 3:31 PM

ditto. if you do kindness just for a reward you're doing it for the wrong reason. you have no control over what other people do, only yourselves.

Anonymous said...

I still hold the door for people, BUT, I wish the person I held the door for had the courtesy to pause once they get inside and allow me to get in line ahead of them - where I would have been if I hadn't held the door for them.

It is extremely rare for someone to say... go ahead, you were here first.