Attention

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not represent our advertisers

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Kmart To Open At 6 A.M. On Thanksgiving For Shoppers Who Hate Their Families

Just in case you hate your family so much that you can’t wait until 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving to pretend that shopping at Macy’s, JCPenney, or Sears is more important than spending the holidays with your “loved ones,” Kmart — the store you used to buy socks at before the Walmart opened in your area — has decided to open at 6 a.m. on Thanksgiving to give you shelter from nagging questions about your job, love life, hair, friends, and why you never call.Kmart isn’t just opening early for the throngs of people who simply can’t spend a single second more talking to their Aunt Ida, don’t really care about their little brother’s opinion regarding the college football ranking system, or the rank odor of cousin Stan’s “secret recipe dry rub turkey” roasting in the oven. The store is also providing a true safe haven for family haters by staying open straight until 11 p.m. on Black Friday, just in time for you to sneak back into your parents’ house, grab your bag and claim you have to leave because there is a work emergency you need to tend to immediately.

More

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

A holiday is not a holiday anymore for people, it has become all about the all mighty dollar.

Anonymous said...

I won't be there

Anonymous said...

This just saddens me! Not only do I feel for the workers who have to work - they are basically being forced but anyone who goes to these stores is nuts. Spend time with your family whomever they may be! I say we all protest and refused to shop at any store that is open on Thanksgiving. Let's let the mighty dollar really work by not spending on Thanksgiving at these stores!

Hermey the Elf said...

The tone of the article really puts it in perspective. Funny stuff.
We are simply reverting back to slave labor to please our masters.
Nothing but $$ is sacred anymore.
I remember when the only thing open was a gas station and even then they had limited hours.
Used to have to plan your trip, gathering ahead of time and not wait for the last minute.
Shopping is the last thing I would be doing, even if I were alone for the holidays.

Anonymous said...

Like homeownership and education, now holidays are only for the rich.

lmclain said...

Believe this --- not a single executive will be working. It's not the workers clamoring to be behind a register or stocking shelves on that day. Its the CEO who needs sales to boost his stock options or hit a sales target for his 3 million dollar bonus. The workers and their families?? F them. Maybe they should take a hint from businesses like Chic-Filet, who even though they could make millions more by doing it, choose to stay CLOSED on Sunday. They still make millions.

Anonymous said...

I will not be there Thanksgiving is for family time not Kmart time!

Witness as Loss Prevention staff said...

The illegals rip that place off anyway

Anonymous said...

Kohl's will also be opening at 8p.m. on Thanksgiving day and will be open until Midnight on Black Friday. Needless to say the employee's are not happy campers.

Anonymous said...

I worked at Kmart last year and had to go in at 7pm til 3am thanksgiving night it wasn't an option either you go or get fired

Anonymous said...

I'm almost finished with my Christmas shopping. These stores who don't think of the employee and families first won't make a dime off me on Thanksgiving. It's a day for family. Even if you are already not looking forward to it, it's what it is. next year one or more of those family members may no longer be with you. I love those four days. Cook a huge meal which gives us leftovers for the whole weekend. We decorate, watch parades & football, drive each other nuts. I wouldn't want it any other way.

I hope everyone has a happy & safe Thanksgiving holiday.

Anonymous said...

I for one will be boycotting them not only on thanksgiving, but also on black Friday or the day after Thanksgiving. I guess they will all be open as well on Christmas Day or should I say the Winter Holidays?
To hell with them and their Chinese Goods!!!!!! Don't forget to get your "Holiday Tree" at Lowe's or Target!!!

Anonymous said...

I finished my Christmas shopping, Jelly beans. All I can afford.