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Friday, August 10, 2012

Is Your Elderly Parent Moving In? It Might Cost You

Decisions about providing care for an aging parent are by no means easy — or cheap. Make it easier by asking some key questions and discussing them with your parents ahead of time.

Many people my age struggle with the best way to care for their aging parents — and my husband and I are no exception. My friends, colleagues and I all agonize as we debate whether our parent(s) should move in with us or enter an assisted-living facility or nursing home. These are complex decisions that have emotional, physical and financial costs — and no easy answers.

My mother is healthy now, but one fact is clear: if she moves into our three-story home someday, we’ll need to make some changes to our house. And while we would welcome her company, making our home easy for her to get around in could be very expensive.

Recently, my husband and I decided to speak candidly with my mom about her own plans for the future. We were motivated to broach the issue after talking to my friend Victoria, who went through a similar experience with her mother. Victoria’s elderly mom moved in with her after her father’s death, but in order to care for her — Victoria’s mom was wheelchair bound and needed assistance with some daily activities — Victoria had to remodel her home.



Anonymous said...

Our Grandmother just moved in with us. She's 90 and suffering from dementia. It's a struggle, but I'm so glad I'm there for her in her time of need. She was always the rock of our family, the one you called when you had a tough question or something bothering you. To be there for her, I'm just glad I can be. It's not easy(I've done similar with another family relative), but I know regardless I can look back without regret.

Anonymous said...

Ok, so you have a 3 story home and may have to make costly renovations for an elderly parent to be able to live in. What if you were young enough to have children and still had that same 3 story home and had a child born with disabilities and knew the child would never walk or do some other things. Would you not make the wheel chair ramp or other changes for your child? Hire a care taker to monitor your child overnight so you could get some sleep? Unless the elder has serious problems and could cause harm to you or theirselves, I say bring them into your home. You may regret not doing it when they are gone.

Anonymous said...

I have elderly parents in another state and they REFUSE to move! So, how can you make them move if they want to stay in their home and eventually will probably go to a nursing home because of their stubbornness.
THe way I look at it, they have had many years to make preparations for older age and still refuse to face the fact. So with that, I have to work for a living to keep above water so I am not able to move. Its a catch 22!