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Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Millennials In Panic As Outraged Boomers Threaten To Withhold Participation Trophies

U.S.—The nation’s millennials are in a panic as baby boomers, feeling insulted by such things as the “OK Boomer” meme, have now threatened to withhold participation trophies.

“How am I supposed to know I’m special if I don’t have a trophy?!” exclaimed Brendan Stephens as he stress-ate avocado toast. Stephens currently lives at home with his boomer parents as he’s busy “discovering himself.” “I can’t be left on my own like this. I need constant support to achieve anything,” Stephens continued. “I mean, I’m thirty-seven; I'm not old."

“They’re just mad that we’ve correctly pointed out that they’ve destroyed everything,” said millennial Kaylee Forman, a social media consultant. “Especially the environment, which I’m very, very concerned about. Just look.” Forman scrunched her face so that she looked very concerned. “But they can’t stop giving us symbols of how special we are, because if I don’t get that reassurance every day, I’ll start to wonder if I’m not special! What if I’m not special?! What if I’m not?!”

More Satire

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lol! Excellent!

Anonymous said...

Imagine making fun of a generation that wants to leave the world in a better place then it was when they were born...

Anonymous said...

Denial of faith, culture and accountability doesn't appear to be making anything better

lmclain said...

11:22.....THIS generation???

Seriously??

They TALK a lot of that crap, but can't get out of Mom and Dad's house, don't think they need to works themselves "up the ladder", find racism and every other kind of "..ism" in everything (the color of snow is racist and so is the American flag??!), borrow tens of thousands of dollars in student loans (that they NEVER intend to pay back) to get a degree that is worth less than the air in the balloons at their graduation party (and voting for whomever promises to give them the most free stuff).
NOTHING is their fault.
They have been raised as the MOST spoiled generation of kids in history.
My parents (a Marine and a Cherokee descendant) actually told us it was our job and duty to give our children a better life than we had and we went out there and did it.
This will be the first generation that TAKES more than they give.
In short, we are totally screwed.

Keep cheering.
And looking for awards for nothing and certificates for just showing up.

Anonymous said...

It is all a Democratic ploy to gain control of everyone's lives. The Dems need control. They want to control what we eat, when we eat, what car we will drive etc you get the picture. Scary!!!

Anonymous said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anonymous said...

And some people will never understand satire, even when its noted.