“It now takes only one accusation to destroy a man’s life. Just one for him to be tried and sentenced in the court of public opinion, overnight costing him his livelihood and social respectability. We are on a frenzied extrajudicial warlock hunt that does not pause to parse the difference between rape and stupidity. The punishment for sexual harassment is so grave that clearly this crime—like any other serious crime—requires an unambiguous definition. We have nothing of the sort.” – Claire Berlinski
Men and women have different roles in the mating process. A man who isn’t willing to be the aggressor will likely spend his life alone. You’ve got to interpret signals to see if there’s a chance for you, then be willing to risk rejection, ask women out and instigate everything from the first date, to the first kiss, to the first sexual encounter to marriage if it gets that far. Granted, there are exceptions, but this is generally the role that men play.
On the other hand, most women play a much more passive role. They tend to give out subtle and oftentimes erratic signals, wait for men to come to them and then decide whether they will allow things to move forward.
Note that when I say “subtle and oftentimes erratic signals,” I am not kidding. Just to give you some real world examples of what that can entail…
* A woman may flirt with you solely because she wants the attention.
* A woman may just be habitually flirty.
* A woman may flirt with you despite having no intentions of going any further, because she already has a boyfriend, but wants an orbiter waiting in the wings just in case things don’t work out.
* A woman may be really flirty today, meet a guy tomorrow and then lose all interest.
* A woman may talk dirty to you like she’s ready to have sex; then when she arrives at your house, she loses her nerve.
* A woman may drink so that she can have sex, use the alcohol as an excuse and not feel like a slut later.
* A woman may say “no” to doing something physical now, change her mind 5 minutes later, and then allow things to go forward.
* A woman who would never go to your house specifically to have sex, will go because of the most laughable premise imaginable because that way, she can tell herself the “sex just happened” and she won’t feel like a slut.
* A woman may talk dirty, give every signal imaginable that she’s into you and still refuse to have sex because she has a three date rule.