Attention

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not represent our advertisers

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

The sun is racist! Two major liberal papers agree the Solar Eclipse of 2017 cuts out black people

The dominating event of Monday was the total solar eclipse that cut a path across the United States. Millions of people flocked to the “path of totality” to watch the moon completely cover the sun for two whole minutes.

It was a nice diversion from the divisive identity politics of the time, right up until some idiotic “news” sites managed to somehow inject race into an astrological event.

If you think I’m kidding, I regret to inform you that I don’t think I could make this up even if I wanted to.

Brooklyn Law professor (holy crap someone thinks she’s smart enough to teach?) Alice Ristroph is complaining about the eclipse. She wrote a 4,500-word rant to The Atlantic in which she literally accuses the entire solar system of racism. This is some next-level stuff, guys.

“It has been dubbed the Great American Eclipse, and along most of its path, there live almost no black people. Presumably, this is not explained by the implicit bias of the solar system. Still, an eclipse chaser is always tempted to believe that the skies are relaying a message.”

Hold on, what? Did you actually… “the skies are relaying a message”? What does that even mean, you nutball?

More

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good Grief!

Anonymous said...

No black people in St Louis (the most populous city in the path of totality)? She really is nuts!

als1328 said...

I need whatever she's smoking lol.

Anonymous said...

I work at a local emergency clinic and last night we had 6 people come in with sever burns to their eyes. One might go blind.
They were all told that regular polarized sunglasses would be fine to look at the eclipse with!
The victims have retina & cornea burns, itching and lots of pain. Nice job to the idiot that told them it was fine.

Anonymous said...

Left me out also so maybe the solar system really hates Hungarians and just happened to neglect other groups as well.

Anonymous said...

The sun is killing Ethiopians so it's racist too.

Anonymous said...

Everything is racist, don't you know?

Anonymous said...

What insanity.

Anonymous said...

I'm firmly convinced there is going to be a civil war in this country a lot sooner than people think. Not like the civil war of the 1860's. But a modern day guerrilla street war the likes of which this country has never seen. Because of idiots like this that keep stoking the fire. Keep it up liberals. Donald Trump will be the least of nightmares.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lord these people are idiots!