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Monday, July 23, 2012

Hello, Chuck, Call Everyone You Can, It's Dead Here

Chuck: Who's this?

Ireton: It's Jimmy.

Chuck: Yeah, sure it is. What's the secret code.

Ireton: Secret Code, what are you talking about.

Chuck: After you spoofed Albero we made up a secret code, REMEMBER?

Ireton: Oh yeah, shoot, Antwan.

Chuck: 10-4 Jimmy, what's up?

Ireton: It's dead down here for 3rd Friday. Send out an e-mail to everyone on our list and tell them to come on down.

Chuck: Who's there now?

Ireton: No one that will talk to me. I'm standing down by Parker Place all alone. Bring me something I can give away so people will like me again.

Chuck: Like what, we've given just about everything away to the Daily Times, remember.

Ireton: Damn, we did. Come on Chuck, your the creative one. Do we have any Obama shirts?

Chuck: Nope, you gave them all out at the last toga party in Rehoboth.

Ireton: Well, we've got some coffee mugs we were going to give away to all the employees for Christmas, how about those.

Chuck: What are you going to give the employees at Christmas then?

Ireton: How about those cheap key rings with a key to the city on them.

Chuck: Yeah, your probably going to lose anyway, but what the heck.

Ireton: WHAT!

Chuck: Oh nothing, I was talking to a friend who's buying a scratch off ticket.

Ireton: Oh, I thought you were talking about the election.

Chuck: Oh, uh, no, that wasn't it at all. I'll stop by the building and get some mugs.

Ireton: Well hurry up. It doesn't look good standing here with no one around me. How long will it take you to get here.

Chuck: Its gonna take a while. I have to change all my light bulbs to CFL's. Then we have to drop off Obama 2012 bumper stickers with Laura. O'Malley has a conference call at six to save the bay. The NAACP wants to see the new floor plans for the 500 housing units you want to build downtown. You know who wants to discuss the EDU's for the reduced rates. I think we have one developer who wants them all. Barrie wants another meeting at the Chamber but don't tell anyone, it's a secret again.

Ireton: Come on Chuck, can you get someone else to get the mugs. I can't keep standing here.

Albero then walks up, pats Jimmy on the back and says, how are you Jim. Jim rolls eyes and says, it's Friday. He then says, don't call me, I'll call you.

And THAT was 3rd Friday, July 2012.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh my god, I can't stop laughing. My husband came in wondering what the heck was so funny. Now he can't stop laughing. That was great Joe. I hope Jimmy can see the humor in it. Then again, you know what they say if he can't take a joke.

Anonymous said...

I agree. that was hilarious.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to sue you for my medical bills.....I just split a gut laughing so hard.

Anonymous said...

Play the audio JOe! LOL

Anonymous said...

What a picture!

Anonymous said...

Who Is Antwan?

Anonymous said...

Re: Salisbury’s Lackluster 3rd Fridays

In my opinion and based on direct observation Salisbury is currently stuck with a losing hand. The economy has a role but there is more to it.

Berlin’s event is fairly vibrant because there are numerous, diversified businesses in a compact area. Quality of items for sale is good; wide range of art items and genres; eclectic mix. Parking is free at several conveniently located lots. Crowd issues are non-existent. Berlin has First Friday. Friendly place.

Snow Hill has Second Friday. It is smaller than Berlin’s and a bit more spread out but there is an interesting mix of vendors and food. Parking is easy and convenient. Crowd issues are also non-existent; also a friendly place.

Salisbury’s Friday event was the last to form, and on several visits it has consistently missed the mark. On reflection, I think part of this miss is due to the scarcity of shops and vendors that are ‘special’ enough to justify a visit, and to the dispersed nature of their spacing. My opinion is that many of the downtown/Plaza merchants are poorly capitalized and drawn there by low rents in buildings past their prime (I don’t have any information about the rents, and could be entirely in error on this point, but I associate tired buildings with lower rents). Much of what passes for ‘activity’ are tents and card tables set up for the evening. Parking entails more of a hike to the event but generally can be free depending upon time of arrival and location of the space. Crowds haven’t been an issue due to sparse attendance. Vendors are amiable; don’t know if they rent spaces or are free; but are giving it their best effort given the constraints. Since most of event tends to be outdoors weather becomes more of an issue.

Path to improvement? Chicken or egg? A better business climate will encourage more businesses to consider locating downtown, and if the mix is good, more folks will try it out. It seems to me that Berlin improved the climate and that drew the merchants.

Disclaimer: Not tied to any of the vendors in any of the towns; just observing.

Anonymous said...

You should write Comedy shows!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like Chuck does more then Jim.

Anonymous said...

and this is a reason for me to leave outta here. A Obama friendly state is horrible, and I know Joe can change things but I already made my decision to leave, this sad poor miserable place.

Anonymous said...

Mayor Albero All The Way!

Anonymous said...

And he has a great sense of humor to boot. You'll make a great mayor Joe.

Anonymous said...

Why was he all alone?

Anonymous said...

Now that is funny I don't care who you are!

Anonymous said...

He does have a nice butt!

Anonymous said...

So darn funny Joe!

Anonymous said...

JOE--- WE LOVE IT!

Anonymous said...

Maybe he farted!

Anonymous said...

What does "it's Friday" mean?

Anonymous said...

I enjoy nuts.

Anonymous said...

You can fix this right Joe? I like the idea's you have shared with us so far. Keep it up!

Doug said...

Sure seems like a house boy to me.

Anonymous said...

that back side view looks extemely femine.

Anonymous said...

lol....

Anonymous said...

He better gets used to being alone!

Terry Bollea said...

Why are you checking out his ass? Are you sure you're not the one visiting Rehoboth?

Anonymous said...

that back side view looks extemely femine.

July 23, 2012 9:52 PM

You need glasses or testosterone.

Anonymous said...

It's a purty little tushy!