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Saturday, August 17, 2019

This Scientific Breakthrough Could Increase the Odds that Hillary Clinton Runs for President Again

A new scientific breakthrough could increase the odds that Hillary Clinton, 71, could enter the Democratic primary in an effort to unite the party behind a tried and tested (albeit twice-failed) candidate in 2020.

Clinton, whose unsuccessful 2016 campaign was plagued by challenges related to likability, balance, mobility, health scares, corruption, incompetence, and hubris, will be thrilled to learn that researchers at Keio University in Japan have developed a piece of technology that could mitigate at least one of those factors in the event she decides to run again.

The "Arque" is an "artificial biomimicry-inspired anthropomorphic tail" that elderly individuals can wear "as an extension of human body to provide active momentum alteration in balancing situations, or as a device to alter body momentum for full-body haptic feedback scenarios." In other words, it could be just the thing Hillary needs to overcome the general distaste with which she is viewed by a majority of the voting public.

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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice try

Anonymous said...

Ha!

Anonymous said...

It's more like an extension of her existing tail.