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Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Police Department Goes to All Co-Ed Lockers/Showers

Eagle Springs, KS – The tiny community of Eagle Springs is exactly what you would expect as far as a town makeup in rural Kansas: 99.4% white residents and a typical split of about 52% male and 48% female. Despite the makeup of the community, since progressive police Chief Mark Hill was hired from the outside (originally from Vermont) he has remained unwaveringly committed to having a “diverse team of law helpers.”

Hill, who says calling officers “helpers” is a good way to “keep their minds from becoming too aggressive” has made sure that in the small department of just 6 members has one white person (himself), an African american, an Asian-American, a Native American, A Latin-American, and one Mixed Race non-American from Morocco who also is in a wheelchair and color-blind. None of the officers are from the area but have all been recruited to one of the smallest yet most diverse departments in the country. It is also split directly down the middle with 3 males and 3 females, however Hill has encouraged that if anyone is interested in not identifying with any gender at all, it may help with some federal grants for equipment.

Until recently, the sleepy but proud town has rolled with the punches. After all, if you’re double parking in the one light town, you’re at fault no matter what race or background the officer who writes the ticket. But the collective eyebrows of the more conservative community have been raised when Mr. Hill announced that he was remodeling the station to eliminate any gender distinction, including the locker room and shower area. Since every shift has at least one male and one female to make everything as even as possible the genders will always mix when getting ready or cleaning up after work.

More Satire Here

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

What fun !!! get to know their partners Well !!!

Anonymous said...

I bet the snowflakes won't like that either, they just to piss & moan about anything to get attention

Anonymous said...

Don't Drop the Soap !!!!

Anonymous said...


I'll bet the ranchers planting vegan cattle appreciate getting their community up to date.

Anonymous said...

The chief is from Bernie Sanders Vermont so I guess that's about what could be expected. LOL

Anonymous said...

Ugh. To bad many of the readers take this stuff seriously and don't have the ability to recognize satire, even when it is noted as satire.

Anonymous said...

Bet all of them are gonna feel dirty now and need a shower at least once an hour.