Attention

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not represent our advertisers

Wednesday, May 04, 2016

Most of our generation of 60+ were HOME SCHOOLED in many ways.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL  DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
 
 
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
 
 
3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
 
 
4. My father taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why   ."
 
 
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
 
 
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
 
 
7. My father taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
 
 
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
 
 
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
 
 
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
 
 
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
 
 
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"
 
 
13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."
 
 
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"
 
 
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
 
 
16. My father taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My father taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up"

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My father taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

25. My father & father taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

We also had prayer in school. You know, christian prayer, not all those fake religions.

Anonymous said...

And through all 0f that, we learned respect....

Anonymous said...

Wow 1228. What fake religions are you speaking about? I am a devout Catholic, but growing up I learned to respect other religions. Are you speaking about the Muslim faith? Jewish faith? Orthodox?

Furthermore, I am sorry to say, prayer will not help our schools. That time has passed.

Anonymous said...

6:26 I beg to disagree. Yes the "time has passed" but prayer would and will help the schools. It will help the teachers get through the day dealing with thugs and low lifes that cannot be expelled from school due to Federally mandated orders for Wicomico County. Pray is not just for the students you know.

Anonymous said...

Wow 6:26. Devout Catholic who says that prayer will not help? Not my place to judge, but you sound like an athiest to me. By the way, there is absolutely nothing to respect about the muslim cult.

Anonymous said...

6:26 Fake religions are the new ones with no real established history of several hundred years.

Anonymous said...

a walk down memory lane!

Anonymous said...

Hit the nail on the head with this one, can picture one parent or the other saying these things all the time.

Anonymous said...

All it takes is one prophet to get the ball rolling on a new religion. Or a fake prophet. Or just a fake.

Anonymous said...

I know that my parents used every one of these lines, plus some that aren't here, to raise us to have good qualities and to not drive them totally crazy while it was happening. Prayer may have had something to do with it, but it was probably more along the line of, "God, please don't let me kill this child."