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Tuesday, February 14, 2017

School Superintendent Bans Forks In Cafeteria To Keep Students From Stabbing Each Other

The superintendent of a taxpayer-funded school district in Pennsylvania has banned forks from the high school cafeteria because too many students have been using the utensils to stab each other.

Sto-Rox High School in the gritty Pittsburgh suburb of McKees Rocks is the site of the new fork-free policy, according to local NBC affiliate WPXI.

The superintendent, Frank Dalmas, implemented the policy and other draconian measures last week to keep students in line.

There have been fights involving injuries. (It’s not clear if these fights are fork-related.) There has been drug use in bathrooms.

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11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just remember forks don't kill people. People kill people. Just as true for forks as it is for guns!

If you can't control the kids, resign so they can find someone who can. May I recommend a military type school?

Anonymous said...

John Wick once killed 2 men using just a pencil ...

Anonymous said...

The school system is the JV to maximum security prison.

Anonymous said...

Only in the suburbs of ARMPITTSburgh!

Anonymous said...

I graduated school in 1980, and never had this ridiculous crap in school, like it does today.

Anonymous said...

Time for plastic sporks, just like prison

Anonymous said...

Guess they will b taking all the pencils out of school too

Anonymous said...

Won't happen here, we even allow kids to draw hangmen nooses on black stick figures in college and nothing gets done.

Anonymous said...

"Man, I'm gonna fork you up!"

Anonymous said...

Damn Amish.

Anonymous said...

No this superintendent is wrong! He should have given them sharp knives!