Patrice Lewis: Why I Am Not A Feminist

Long ago during my college years in the early '80s, I remember reading an incident in a women's magazine that made me proud to be a woman.

It seems a businesswoman was running late for her plane flight, so she was dashing through the airport toward the gate. The gate agent told her, "Better get your buns in gear, honey, the plane's about to leave" or something similarly shocking and sexist.

Immediately the businesswoman skidded to a stop and snapped, "I want that plane held up and I want to talk to your supervisor NOW!"

Though it's been 30 years, I still remember the wellspring of admiration that bubbled up inside me when reading this. Ooooh, was I impressed! Here was a strong and powerful woman who refused to put up with the sexist verbiage from this lowlife scumbag who dared to reference her posterior anatomy! I thought it was wonderful.

Of course, I didn't give a thought to the hundreds of people held up on the plane so this strong and powerful woman could chew out the lowlife scumbag's supervisor. I only thought about how impressed I was that she took control. Stayed in charge. Taught that gate agent a lesson.

For you see, I was an ardent feminist during my college years.

Of course, I now realize that the businesswoman who demanded the plane be held up for HER whim was merely epitomizing the essence of feminism: IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.

It didn't matter how many other people on that plane missed their connections or were late for critical appointments. This woman got HER way, and that's all that counted.

It's the ME mentality of feminism that bugs me. As I see it, just about everything associated with feminism is meant to promote the agenda that it's all about women: their needs, their wants, their goals, their career ambitions, and everyone else be damned. Who cares how many are inconvenienced as long as her desires are met? Who cares about her husband's needs? Who gives a rip about the needs of her children?

The needs of others – of husbands and children – are paramount to a healthy and balanced family. And yes, it's the woman who often sacrifices many years to see those needs are met, especially when children are young. But getting married and having children are voluntary actions. Presumably no one held a gun to a feminist's head and forced her to get pregnant. I'm very big on the concept that if you voluntarily take on an important commitment, you'd better be prepared to make whatever sacrifices are necessary to bring that commitment to fruition.

The reason this subject is on my mind is because I'm reading a superb book by Suzanne Venker and Phyllis Schlafly called "The Flipside of Feminism." I'm only about a quarter of the way through, but it's fabulous. It doesn't hold back any punches when pointing out the true toll feminism has inflicted on society.

Unless they are contaminated with propaganda from a feminist mother or teachers, most women instinctively understand their role and place in society. This does not preclude education or career opportunities, of course. But women know that children require care, and the best care is usually provided by mom. If you're going to have children, then you have the responsibility to raise them. Shoving babies in day care for 50 hours a week so you can continue your career uninterrupted does not constitute "raising." The moment you conceive, you have taken part in the creation of someone whose needs are more important than your own. If a woman wants to be free of the demands of children, then she should remain celibate (or get sterilized) to avoid the responsibility of motherhood.

Women can "have it all" when it comes to career and family – but just not in the ways feminists would have us believe. Endless numbers of stay-at-home moms have started cottage industries and contributed greatly to the family's finances. Other moms waited until their children were grown and gone before launching their careers.
Of course, this means putting "ME" aside for a few years, and feminists hate that. To a feminist, the ultimate in selfishness is to forego selfishness. ME is paramount. YOU are dispensable.

And career is supreme. Working at home doesn't "count." Waiting until the children are grown doesn't "count." Creating that familial center-of-the-universe (a happy, safe and loving home) doesn't "count." Only competing with men in a high-powered corporate environment is acceptable. Ultimately, nothing short of the destruction of the evil, horrible, patriarchal family unit will do.

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