Attention

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not represent our advertisers

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Fun Jokes

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-
shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, 'OHIO STATE!' And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------------------

A couple is lying
in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make
you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies,
'I'll miss you...'

-------------------------------------------------

'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,'
Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the
neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
-------------------------------------------

Q: What do you
call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-----------------------------------------------------

Q: Why do little
boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be
men.
-------------------------------------------------

Q: What do you
call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
---------------------------------------------

Q: What does it
mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
------------------------------------------

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.
-------------------------------------------

Q: How do you
keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Joe, Here's a joke for you. Right up your alley.

LOSING YOUR WALLET IN MEXICO

>A guy was traveling through Mexico on vacation when, low and
behold, he lost his wallet and all identification. Cutting his trip
short, he attempted to make his way home, but was stopped by a Mexican
Customs Agent at the Tijuana border.

"May I see your identification, por favor, senor?"
asked the agent.

"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replied the guy.

"Si, amigo, I hear that every day. No ID, no crossing the
border," said the agent.

"But I can prove that I'm an American!" he exclaimed.
"I have a picture of Bill Clinton tattooed on one butt cheek and a picture of Hillary Clinton tattooed on the other."

"This I must see," replied the agent. With that, the American
dropped his pants and bent over in front of the agent.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, you're right!" exclaimed the agent. "Have
a safe trip back to Chicago, Senor."

"Thanks!" he said. "But why do you think I'm from Chicago?"

The agent replied, "I recognized Barack Obama in the middle!