Here is something interesting if you want to post it. Sounds like something our mare and bubba would do.
http://www.wbaltv.com/politics/18245976/detail.html?treets=bal&tid=2652480377813&tml=bal_8pm&tmi=bal_8pm_-1_07000112102008&ts=H
Mayor Sheila Dixon
Critics Question Elected Officials' Upcoming Raises
Raises Come Amid Other Administrative, Overtime Cuts
POSTED: 1:51 pm EST December 10, 2008
UPDATED: 7:25 pm EST December 10, 2008
BALTIMORE -- Baltimore's mayor, the city comptroller and members of the City Council are getting raises, and some critics said they're not happy about it. Meanwhile, officials in other counties were set to get raises, as well.
City Hall is calling the 2.5 percent cost-of-living raises bad timing, WBAL TV 11 News reporter Lowell Melser said. They were approved last year by an independent committee and were again approved last month during a meeting of the Board of Estimates.
The five members of the board include Mayor Sheila Dixon, Comptroller Joan Pratt and City Council President Stephanie Rawlings-Blake.
Dixon will receive a $3,700 bump and Pratt and Rawlings-Blake will get a $2,400 increase. City Council Vice President Edward Reisinger will get a $1,575 boost and the rest of the City Council will receive a $1,145 raise, according to the city.
Each abstained from voting on her own salary.
Board documents described the raises as "salary adjustments" for several specific pay grades but did not list the job titles.
The raises were granted at the same time city leaders are freezing pay for some city administrators and cutting overtime for police and firefighters.
Councilwoman Mary Pat Clarke, who will get a raise, said the board should step in and do something because when the raise decisions were made, the country was not in a recession.
"I admire the leadership of the city, but I'm disappointed and concerned about the increase in cost-of-living," Clarke said.
The head of the city fire union said they also have a problem with the raises.
"As a union official, I don't begrudge such increases and don't want to upset our friends at City Hall; however, I would submit the timing is poor and perhaps the process was dubious at best," said Steve Fugate, president of the Baltimore City Fire Officers Association.
However, Dixon lashed out at critics and did her best to explain how the raises came about.
"We tried to create a process that took us out of it, so we didn't make the decisions, and the voters voted on it," Dixon said, referring to a time in 2006 when voters approved a City Commission on Elected Officials, which was an independent body that would decide on City Hall raises that -- if not challenged -- would become law.
The mayor also dispelled rumors that the raises were some sort of undercover deal. In the documents explaining the raises, elected officials were represented by numbers rather than their names.
Dixon said by law, they have to accept it, but if any elected official wanted to donate their raise to charity, that would be OK. She said she'll accept the raise, citing her dedication to her work for the city and the fact that she has a daughter in college.
The raises will kick in starting in 2009. Dixon also pointed out that most union-backed employees in the city received a higher raise for 2009.
Other State Officials To Get Raises
City officials aren't alone in getting an automatic pay raise. Officials in other counties got raises, as well, the 11 News I-Team discovered, and some are also giving them up.
Howard County Executive Ken Ulman is one of the highest paid public officials in the state, and he and his county council got an automatic cost-of-living increase of 4.9 percent earlier this month -- twice the amount of the cost-of-living increase in the city.
It raises Ulman's annual salary from about $151,000 to more than $158,000, I-Team lead investigative reporter Jayne Miller said. A spokesman said Wednesday that Ulman will donate the amount of the increase to charity.
In Montgomery County -- the state's wealthiest -- paychecks are heading in the opposite direction for some on the public payroll. Last week, county teachers agreed to give up a 5 percent pay raise set to take effect next year. It will save the county almost $90 million.
In Washington County, county commissioners recently rejected an $8,000 raise for future commissioners despite the recommendations of an outside panel, Miller reported. They said they couldn't justify it in the face of so much economic uncertainty.
At the state level, House Speaker Michael Busch recently suggested that legislators give up part of their salaries. He said it was only fair considering the furloughs being proposed for state employees.
Gov. Martin O'Malley is behind the furlough plan to help trim a state budget shortfall. He will also be furloughed, Miller reported. His salary is set by law for the duration of his term, and it's not subject to a cost-of-living increase.
Baltimore County Executive Jim Smith and his county council also have salaries that are set for a four-year term with no cost-of-living increases, Miller reported
DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Breaking News! Jason Chance Resigns From Sheriff's Department
Sherif's Deputy Jason Chance, once recognized as an outstanding Sheriff's Deputy, turned in his resignation today to go into effect December 16th 2008.
Back on July 3, 2008 we exposed this story where Mr. Chance had been found drinking and driving that included an alleged hit and run.
Today, Mr. Chance had his day in court where the DWI case was nol pros, (sp?). He received a PBJ for leaving the scene. He was then found guilty of negligent driving and will serve 30 hours of community service. He also received 1 year supervised probation plus court costs and fines.
I have been told by a source his resignation came after very strong encouragement by Sheriff Mike Lewis.
Why ALL Of You Should Consider Volunteering By Ringing A Bell For The Salvation Army
"Joe,
I just got home from my shift a a bell-ringer, and I must say that it was was one of the most rewarding, fulfilling and heatrwarming things that I have ever done. I was surprised at the number of people who did stop and put a donation in the bucket; what I was especially touched by was the number of people far worse off than I; people who struggled to walk with canes, crutches, and walkers; people in wheelchairs, some of them missing limbs, who stopped and donated. The most heartwarming were the mothers who had their small children put in the money. They are teaching their children well. The experience made me stop and count my blessings---my two successful daughters, my wonderful grandchildren who all love me very much; my good health (never mind that my infrastructure is shot!), my loving husband, the fact that we are both fortunate enough to have good jobs. Yes, even non-Christians believe in blessings. As my father-in-law (you know, the one whose money I'm trying to steal) says, when you do a good deed, you make two people happy: the one for whom you did the good deed, and yourself. He is so right!
It is directly because of you---because of your relentless campaign to encourage people to volunteer as bell-ringers---that I volunteered. I don't know what kind of strings you pulled to make it such a lovely warm day (LOL), but thank you for making this wonderful experience happen for me. Had it not been for your urging people to volunteer, I probably wouldn't have done it, but I know now that I will do it again.
grannydragon"
I kept trying to tell everyone just how rewarding this experience is. I encourage each and every one of you who have given from your heart with the gift of volunteering your personal experience in ringing the bell for the Salvation Army.
Grannydragon, THANK YOU! While many at the Salvation Army Staff can't believe I have put in the time and effort unconditionally, I can only think they're so busy fielding calls, counting money, managing the schedules all over the place, picking up and delivering buckets everywhere all day and night, perhaps they forgot just how rewarding it is for someone like myself to GIVE BACK.
I am so pleased you were able to experience the same thing I have and I truly encourage each and every one of you reading this to call the Salvation Army and volunteer, even if its only for an hour. It will be the best hour you've spared for an excellent cause.
Since you shared your experiences, I'd like to just give everyone a small taste of the most rewarding parts I experienced. On one evening at WalMart, two individuals came up to me and explained how they had to depend on the help of the Salvation Army at one point in their life. They proceeded to reach into their wallets and put money in the bucket to give back. ONE of them even mentioned that they were going to need the support of the Salvation Army very soon and yet they still reached into their pocket and gave up their change.
I could go on ad on but I'll leave it up to others to share their experiences. The way I see it is, by now we should have a new Post up with what's left over on the schedule for WalMart and Sam's Club. I will tel you right here and now, I have NO PROBLEM filling in each and every one of the slots left open at both locations. However, I truly encourage each one of you to please consider dropping me an e-mail to fill them in or call the Salvation Army to arrange a spot.
You can reach me at, alberobutzo@wmconect.com or the Salvation Army at 410-749-7771 ext. 100. They have some great openings at K-Mart, which is somewhat indoors. Thank You, ALL of you, for volunteering.
I just got home from my shift a a bell-ringer, and I must say that it was was one of the most rewarding, fulfilling and heatrwarming things that I have ever done. I was surprised at the number of people who did stop and put a donation in the bucket; what I was especially touched by was the number of people far worse off than I; people who struggled to walk with canes, crutches, and walkers; people in wheelchairs, some of them missing limbs, who stopped and donated. The most heartwarming were the mothers who had their small children put in the money. They are teaching their children well. The experience made me stop and count my blessings---my two successful daughters, my wonderful grandchildren who all love me very much; my good health (never mind that my infrastructure is shot!), my loving husband, the fact that we are both fortunate enough to have good jobs. Yes, even non-Christians believe in blessings. As my father-in-law (you know, the one whose money I'm trying to steal) says, when you do a good deed, you make two people happy: the one for whom you did the good deed, and yourself. He is so right!
It is directly because of you---because of your relentless campaign to encourage people to volunteer as bell-ringers---that I volunteered. I don't know what kind of strings you pulled to make it such a lovely warm day (LOL), but thank you for making this wonderful experience happen for me. Had it not been for your urging people to volunteer, I probably wouldn't have done it, but I know now that I will do it again.
grannydragon"
I kept trying to tell everyone just how rewarding this experience is. I encourage each and every one of you who have given from your heart with the gift of volunteering your personal experience in ringing the bell for the Salvation Army.
Grannydragon, THANK YOU! While many at the Salvation Army Staff can't believe I have put in the time and effort unconditionally, I can only think they're so busy fielding calls, counting money, managing the schedules all over the place, picking up and delivering buckets everywhere all day and night, perhaps they forgot just how rewarding it is for someone like myself to GIVE BACK.
I am so pleased you were able to experience the same thing I have and I truly encourage each and every one of you reading this to call the Salvation Army and volunteer, even if its only for an hour. It will be the best hour you've spared for an excellent cause.
Since you shared your experiences, I'd like to just give everyone a small taste of the most rewarding parts I experienced. On one evening at WalMart, two individuals came up to me and explained how they had to depend on the help of the Salvation Army at one point in their life. They proceeded to reach into their wallets and put money in the bucket to give back. ONE of them even mentioned that they were going to need the support of the Salvation Army very soon and yet they still reached into their pocket and gave up their change.
I could go on ad on but I'll leave it up to others to share their experiences. The way I see it is, by now we should have a new Post up with what's left over on the schedule for WalMart and Sam's Club. I will tel you right here and now, I have NO PROBLEM filling in each and every one of the slots left open at both locations. However, I truly encourage each one of you to please consider dropping me an e-mail to fill them in or call the Salvation Army to arrange a spot.
You can reach me at, alberobutzo@wmconect.com or the Salvation Army at 410-749-7771 ext. 100. They have some great openings at K-Mart, which is somewhat indoors. Thank You, ALL of you, for volunteering.
Bell Ringers Needed At K-Mart
The Salvation Army has asked us to post the following openings at the K-Mart location. There are very few time slots to be filled there. Please, if you live on the east side of the county and want to volunteer please give them a call. We know not everyone enjoys coming to the north end of Salisbury. The following dates and times are open:
Friday, 12/12, 9-10 and 3-5
Monday, 12/15, 9-10
Wednesday, 12/17, 9-1
Friday, 12/19, 9-10
Saturday, 12/20, 9-10
Tuesday, 12/23, 9-5
Wednesay, 12/24. 9-1
Contact the Salvation Army at 410-749-7771 ext 100 or give Joe a call at 410-430-5349or send an email to alberobutzo@wmconnect.com
Thanks for all of your help.
Friday, 12/12, 9-10 and 3-5
Monday, 12/15, 9-10
Wednesday, 12/17, 9-1
Friday, 12/19, 9-10
Saturday, 12/20, 9-10
Tuesday, 12/23, 9-5
Wednesay, 12/24. 9-1
Contact the Salvation Army at 410-749-7771 ext 100 or give Joe a call at 410-430-5349or send an email to alberobutzo@wmconnect.com
Thanks for all of your help.
Wicomico County Sheriff's Department Press Release
Incident: Malicious Destruction of Property
Date of Incident: 7 December 2008
Location: Pittsville Area
Narrative: On 7 December 2008, the Wicomico County Sheriff’s Office began an investigation into a series of vandalisms in the Pittsville area. It appeared that during the overnight hours from 6-7 December 2008, an unknown subject pushed over stop signs in at least seven intersections in the Pittsville area. Due to the danger created by the lack of a stop sign, the Wicomico County Sheriff’s Office is investigating these incidents. Anyone with information as to the perpetrators of this crime is asked to call the Wicomico County Sheriff’s Office at 410-54804891 or Crime Solvers at 410-548-1776.
TiVo Will Still Show Premium Comercials
TiVo debuts ads during fast-forward and pause
By Tim Conneally, BetaNews
December 9, 2008, 12:41 PM
With the TiVo Pause Menu that launched today, even if a user is fast-forwarding through the traditional ad breaks on a time-shifted program, he will still be subject to "premium" ads designed to appear in the truncated space.
The new system, announced this morning, would enable ads to be served during fast-forward or pause states.
"With the number of DVR homes on the rise, TV advertisers are facing a very serious commercial avoidance issue that must be addressed now," said Vice President of Marketing and Product Management David Sanford. TiVo has been searching for the elusive synergy between sponsor and viewer, where it gives one as many opportunities to advertise as it gives the other opportunities to skip advertisements.
TiVo has been stealing headlines on a weekly basis as it approaches the end of what could be its first profitable year thanks to the lawsuit settlement from EchoStar. The DVR company's unique capabilities for targeted advertising play no small role in its recent progress either.
When broadband-connected TiVo users pause a live or time-shifted broadcast, the new "Pause Menu" comes up, which not only displays Adwords-style text ads, but also allows users to perform TiVo Swivel Searches for program info, related shows, and downloads.
By Tim Conneally, BetaNews
December 9, 2008, 12:41 PM
With the TiVo Pause Menu that launched today, even if a user is fast-forwarding through the traditional ad breaks on a time-shifted program, he will still be subject to "premium" ads designed to appear in the truncated space.
The new system, announced this morning, would enable ads to be served during fast-forward or pause states.
"With the number of DVR homes on the rise, TV advertisers are facing a very serious commercial avoidance issue that must be addressed now," said Vice President of Marketing and Product Management David Sanford. TiVo has been searching for the elusive synergy between sponsor and viewer, where it gives one as many opportunities to advertise as it gives the other opportunities to skip advertisements.
TiVo has been stealing headlines on a weekly basis as it approaches the end of what could be its first profitable year thanks to the lawsuit settlement from EchoStar. The DVR company's unique capabilities for targeted advertising play no small role in its recent progress either.
When broadband-connected TiVo users pause a live or time-shifted broadcast, the new "Pause Menu" comes up, which not only displays Adwords-style text ads, but also allows users to perform TiVo Swivel Searches for program info, related shows, and downloads.
Breaking News
I'm told there was just a big explosion in Salisbury. Now they heard a big boom and then sirens started going off. So I'm not sure as of yet what it was. I'm looking into it.
Who Tried It Last Night?
'To stop night time coughing in a child (or adult as we found out personally), put Vicks Vaporub generously on the bottom of the feet at bedtime, then cover with socks. Even persistent, heavy, deep coughing will stop in about 5 minutes and stay stopped for many, many hours of relief. '
DID ANYONE TRY IT LAST NIGHT? DID IT WORK?
DID ANYONE TRY IT LAST NIGHT? DID IT WORK?
Would This Be Racist If It Was For White People?
Blackbird Web Browser
Blackbird was developed on the simple proposition that we, as the African American community, can make the Internet experience better for ourselves and, in doing so, make it better for everyone. Primarily we believe that the Blackbird application can make it easier to find African American related content on the Internet and to interact with other members of the African American community online by sharing stories, news, comments and videos via Blackbird.
http://www.blackbirdhome.com
Sent in by a loyal reader.
Blackbird was developed on the simple proposition that we, as the African American community, can make the Internet experience better for ourselves and, in doing so, make it better for everyone. Primarily we believe that the Blackbird application can make it easier to find African American related content on the Internet and to interact with other members of the African American community online by sharing stories, news, comments and videos via Blackbird.
http://www.blackbirdhome.com
Sent in by a loyal reader.
The CBF Wants to Steal Your Land!
The Chesapeake Bay Foundation wants to STEAL YOUR LAND! No, this is not a joke. No, this is not "satire". The Chesapeake Bay Foundation (CBF) wants to take away YOUR property rights ... and they expect you to help them do it!
The CBF, along with the Wicomico Environmental Trust (WET) and a host of other well meaning enviro groups, want to down-zone agricultural land outside of the Salisbury "metro-core". The result will be a reduction in the value of theses lands. After they've done it to the farmers, we could be next!
Their argument is both simple, and appealing: Read More ...
The CBF, along with the Wicomico Environmental Trust (WET) and a host of other well meaning enviro groups, want to down-zone agricultural land outside of the Salisbury "metro-core". The result will be a reduction in the value of theses lands. After they've done it to the farmers, we could be next!
Their argument is both simple, and appealing: Read More ...
Beaver Run School Salisbury, Md. Has Toxic Benzene Levels Considered Too High & Cancerous
Beaver Run Elementary School is listed in today's USA TODAY as having Benzene in the air. If this is the case and the USA Today knows about it. Why weren't the parents and teachers? Where's the MSM?????? Do we have to rely on Blogs and or loyal visitors who deliver such information?????
GO HERE to read the USA Today Article.
GO HERE to read the USA Today Article.
Look Out Anonymous Bloggers, You Might Just Get Exposed
The Daily Times produced an interesting article on anonymous comments which could finally turn the Internet around. I for one am for our Government to have access to ALL anonymous commenter's. I believe it will set a balance in which people will think twice about defaming someone. I have always felt people should use their name and stand behind what they say or don't say it at all.
While I regret that a-holes like Barrie Tilghman and Chief Webster, (people in power) would abuse it and go after anyone saying anything negative about them, they should not worry about people like them at all. Keep in mind, we might just fine the Chief of Police and the Mayor behind many comments as well? I mean would you believe Chief See or Deputy Chief Gordy have NEVER posted a comment on the Blogs?
You see, Barrie Tilghman is a PUBLIC FIGURE and she's so stupid, she's suing me in the hopes that the rules can be changed in her favor. As long as you do not knowingly and willingly make statements that are a complete lie about one of these people, there's NOTHING they can do to you and I'm about to prove just that this coming January 21, 2009.
It's going to be GREAT to go after all those people who caled my Wife, In Laws, Children and Grandson defaming names. Lawyer up people, your time is coming.
GO HERE to see the Daily Times article. Great work guys!
While I regret that a-holes like Barrie Tilghman and Chief Webster, (people in power) would abuse it and go after anyone saying anything negative about them, they should not worry about people like them at all. Keep in mind, we might just fine the Chief of Police and the Mayor behind many comments as well? I mean would you believe Chief See or Deputy Chief Gordy have NEVER posted a comment on the Blogs?
You see, Barrie Tilghman is a PUBLIC FIGURE and she's so stupid, she's suing me in the hopes that the rules can be changed in her favor. As long as you do not knowingly and willingly make statements that are a complete lie about one of these people, there's NOTHING they can do to you and I'm about to prove just that this coming January 21, 2009.
It's going to be GREAT to go after all those people who caled my Wife, In Laws, Children and Grandson defaming names. Lawyer up people, your time is coming.
GO HERE to see the Daily Times article. Great work guys!
Parker Place Is Going Out Of The Oriental Rug Business
While Salisbury News Posted an article several weeks ago about Parker Place going out of the Oriental Rug Business, we have been informed that Salisbury News delivered far more business from that one article than all the advertising they had done in the Daily Times for years.
Nevertheless, here's the deal Folks. Right now, all of their rugs are 50% off and there's still quite a decent selection to choose from, as you can see from the photos above.
Once the end of the month hits, they're DONE. All rugs will be removed and Anne Taylor will be back in the "JUNK" business. She calls everything she has junk but let me tell you one thing, there's a whole lot of people walking out her door with a whole lot of junk in their hands every day they're open. She's a very smart business woman and understands the trends and that's why she has survived.
So get it while the gettin is good! They're open Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, THAT'S IT! You have till the end of the month and the rugs are gone for good.
FORGOTTEN DOG'S CHRISTMAS
FORGOTTEN DOG'S CHRISTMAS
Author unknown
Twas the nite before Christmas, When all thru the house
Not a creature was stirring, Not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nick soon would be there.
The children all nestled all snug in their beds
With no thoughts of the dog filling their head.
And mamma in her kerchief and I in my cap
Knew the dog was cold, but didn't care about that.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Figuring the dog was free of his chain and into the trash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But Santa Clause with his eyes full of tears.
He unchained the dog once so lively and quick
Last year's Christmas present now painfully sick.
More rapid than eagles he called the dog's name
And the dog ran to him despite all his pain.
Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen
On Comet on Cupid on Donner and Blitzen.
To the top of the porch to the top of the wall
Let's find this dog a home where he will be loved by all.
I knew in an instant there would be no gifts this year
For Santa had made one thing quite clear.
The gift of a dog is not just for the season
We had gotten the dog for all the wrong reasons.
In our haste to think of the kids a gift
There was one important thing we missed
A dog should be family, and cared for the same
You don't give a gift, then put it on a chain.
And I heard him explain as he rode out of site,
"You weren't given a gift, you were given a life."
Author unknown
Twas the nite before Christmas, When all thru the house
Not a creature was stirring, Not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nick soon would be there.
The children all nestled all snug in their beds
With no thoughts of the dog filling their head.
And mamma in her kerchief and I in my cap
Knew the dog was cold, but didn't care about that.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Figuring the dog was free of his chain and into the trash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But Santa Clause with his eyes full of tears.
He unchained the dog once so lively and quick
Last year's Christmas present now painfully sick.
More rapid than eagles he called the dog's name
And the dog ran to him despite all his pain.
Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen
On Comet on Cupid on Donner and Blitzen.
To the top of the porch to the top of the wall
Let's find this dog a home where he will be loved by all.
I knew in an instant there would be no gifts this year
For Santa had made one thing quite clear.
The gift of a dog is not just for the season
We had gotten the dog for all the wrong reasons.
In our haste to think of the kids a gift
There was one important thing we missed
A dog should be family, and cared for the same
You don't give a gift, then put it on a chain.
And I heard him explain as he rode out of site,
"You weren't given a gift, you were given a life."
Anger Management
ANGER MANAGEMENT
When you have that occasional super-bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered I forgot to make a phone call. I found the number & dialed it. A man answered, saying “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Joe, could I please speak with Robyn Carter?”
Suddenly a manic voice screamed, “Get the right f***ing number!!” and then the man slammed the phone in my ear. I couldn’t believe people could be so rude! When I reviewed the number I should have called, I noticed I had transposed the last two digits. Oops, my bad.
I called Robyn at the correct number & when I finished my conversation with her I hung up & called back the “wrong number” again.
When the guy answered, I screamed “You’re an asshole!!!” and quickly slammed the phone down. I wrote his number in my address book under the name “Asshole.” Then every couple of weeks, while paying bills or just simply having a bad day, I would get Asshole’s number out & give him a call and holler “You’re an asshole!!” when he answered & then slam the phone down.
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic “asshole” calling would have to end. So, I called his number and said “Hi, this is John Smith with the telephone company, I was wondering if you are familiar with our Caller ID program?” Asshole yelled “NO!!” and slammed the phone down. So, I called him right back & said “That’s because you’re an ASSHOLE!!” and hung up quickly.
One day while I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot, some guy in a black BMW whipped right in to the space I was waiting patiently for. I honked the horn & yelled that I’d been waiting to pull in there, but the idiot ignored me and proceeded into the store. That’s when I noticed the For Sale sign in the window of his BMW, so I wrote down the number wrote Asshole #2 above it.
A couple days later, right after calling the 1st asshole, (who was #1 on my speed dial by now), I thought I’d go ahead & call the BMW Asshole as well.
I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”
He said, “Yes it is.”
I asked, “Can you tell me where I can come to see it?”
He said, “Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax. It’s a yellow home and the BMW is parked out front.”
I asked, “What’s your name?”
He said, “My name’s Don Hansen.”
I asked, “When would be a good time to catch you Don?”
He said, “I’m home every evening after five.”
I said, “Hey listen, can I tell you something?”
He said, “Sure”
I said, “Don, you’re an asshole!!” and slammed the phone down.
I added his number at Speed Dial #2. Now when my day sucks, I have two assholes I can call.
Then, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1. He said “Hello”
I said “You’re an asshole!” (But I didn’t hang up).
He asked, “Are you still there?”
I said, “Yeah.”
He screamed, “Stop calling me!!!!!”
I said, “Make me.”
He asked, “Who the hell are you?”
I said, “My name is Don Hansen.”
He said, “Yeah, and where do you live?”
I said, “Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax. A yellow house with a black BMW parked out front.”
He said, “Well Don, you better say your prayers, I’m on my way over there right now!”
I said, “Yeah, I’m sooooo… scared asshole,” and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2.
He said, “Hello”
I said, “Well hello there, Asshole!”
He yelled, “I swear, if I every find out who the hell you are…”
I answered, “Well asshole, now’s your chance, I’m on my way right now.”
Then I hung up the phone & immediately called the Fairfax police department and told them I was on my way over to 34 Oaktree Blvd to kill my cheating lover. Then I called Channel 9 news about the gang war that was going down on Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax.
I then quickly got in my car & headed to Fairfax. I arrived just in time to see Asshole #1 & Asshole #2 beating the shit out of each other (no pun intended) in front of six police cars and the Channel 9 News crew hovering in their helicopter.
Wow…Anger Management works very well! I feel awesome. Excuse me while I go to find my next two assholes.
When you have that occasional super-bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered I forgot to make a phone call. I found the number & dialed it. A man answered, saying “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Joe, could I please speak with Robyn Carter?”
Suddenly a manic voice screamed, “Get the right f***ing number!!” and then the man slammed the phone in my ear. I couldn’t believe people could be so rude! When I reviewed the number I should have called, I noticed I had transposed the last two digits. Oops, my bad.
I called Robyn at the correct number & when I finished my conversation with her I hung up & called back the “wrong number” again.
When the guy answered, I screamed “You’re an asshole!!!” and quickly slammed the phone down. I wrote his number in my address book under the name “Asshole.” Then every couple of weeks, while paying bills or just simply having a bad day, I would get Asshole’s number out & give him a call and holler “You’re an asshole!!” when he answered & then slam the phone down.
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic “asshole” calling would have to end. So, I called his number and said “Hi, this is John Smith with the telephone company, I was wondering if you are familiar with our Caller ID program?” Asshole yelled “NO!!” and slammed the phone down. So, I called him right back & said “That’s because you’re an ASSHOLE!!” and hung up quickly.
One day while I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot, some guy in a black BMW whipped right in to the space I was waiting patiently for. I honked the horn & yelled that I’d been waiting to pull in there, but the idiot ignored me and proceeded into the store. That’s when I noticed the For Sale sign in the window of his BMW, so I wrote down the number wrote Asshole #2 above it.
A couple days later, right after calling the 1st asshole, (who was #1 on my speed dial by now), I thought I’d go ahead & call the BMW Asshole as well.
I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”
He said, “Yes it is.”
I asked, “Can you tell me where I can come to see it?”
He said, “Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax. It’s a yellow home and the BMW is parked out front.”
I asked, “What’s your name?”
He said, “My name’s Don Hansen.”
I asked, “When would be a good time to catch you Don?”
He said, “I’m home every evening after five.”
I said, “Hey listen, can I tell you something?”
He said, “Sure”
I said, “Don, you’re an asshole!!” and slammed the phone down.
I added his number at Speed Dial #2. Now when my day sucks, I have two assholes I can call.
Then, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1. He said “Hello”
I said “You’re an asshole!” (But I didn’t hang up).
He asked, “Are you still there?”
I said, “Yeah.”
He screamed, “Stop calling me!!!!!”
I said, “Make me.”
He asked, “Who the hell are you?”
I said, “My name is Don Hansen.”
He said, “Yeah, and where do you live?”
I said, “Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax. A yellow house with a black BMW parked out front.”
He said, “Well Don, you better say your prayers, I’m on my way over there right now!”
I said, “Yeah, I’m sooooo… scared asshole,” and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2.
He said, “Hello”
I said, “Well hello there, Asshole!”
He yelled, “I swear, if I every find out who the hell you are…”
I answered, “Well asshole, now’s your chance, I’m on my way right now.”
Then I hung up the phone & immediately called the Fairfax police department and told them I was on my way over to 34 Oaktree Blvd to kill my cheating lover. Then I called Channel 9 news about the gang war that was going down on Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax.
I then quickly got in my car & headed to Fairfax. I arrived just in time to see Asshole #1 & Asshole #2 beating the shit out of each other (no pun intended) in front of six police cars and the Channel 9 News crew hovering in their helicopter.
Wow…Anger Management works very well! I feel awesome. Excuse me while I go to find my next two assholes.
Wicomico Planning And Zoning Public Hearing TONIGHT
There is a Wicomico Planning and Zoning Public hearing tonight at 7:00 in the Midway Room at the Civic Center. The Cluster Development proposal is on the plate for the evening-More information can be found at: http://www.wicomicocounty.org/ This should be a good one.
Finish Your Holiday Shopping & Support Kids Of Honor
Hereʼs a way to support Kids or Honor and finish your holiday shopping!
The holidays are just around the corner and iGive.com is the perfect site to purchase gifts for your loved ones and help Kids of Honor.
iGive.com is a virtual mall with over 700 of your favorite stores. Each participating store donates a portion of your purchase to the organization of your choice. Some stores even offer double donation days!
iGive.com will also keep track of the total dollar amount you have raised. Stores include Staples, Barnes & Nobles, Toys-R-Us and American Eagle and hundreds more. Visit www.iGive.com to sign up.
The holidays are just around the corner and iGive.com is the perfect site to purchase gifts for your loved ones and help Kids of Honor.
iGive.com is a virtual mall with over 700 of your favorite stores. Each participating store donates a portion of your purchase to the organization of your choice. Some stores even offer double donation days!
iGive.com will also keep track of the total dollar amount you have raised. Stores include Staples, Barnes & Nobles, Toys-R-Us and American Eagle and hundreds more. Visit www.iGive.com to sign up.
Men's Vball Drop In
Joe,
Was wondering if you could help get the word out about Men's Drop in Vollyball at Bennett Middle School on Thursday nights from 7:30 to 9:30. The cost is $5 at the door and the first 36 players to arrive are allowed in due to only having two courts they have to limit the number of players. We have only been getting on average of about 10 people each night. We will be having it this Thursday and next and then we will have a 2 week break since school are closed. This is being put on by the Wicomico Rec and Parks, I am just trying to help the cause. The more people that show up the better. Thanks for any help. If you have any further questions about it you can contact Lee Steffey at Wicomico Rec and parks as he is the one heading it up. Thanks again.
Andrew LeCates
Lee Steffey is the main contact at Wicomico Rec and parks and his info is as follows:
410-548-4900 ext 105
email is lsteffey@wicomicocounty.org
Was wondering if you could help get the word out about Men's Drop in Vollyball at Bennett Middle School on Thursday nights from 7:30 to 9:30. The cost is $5 at the door and the first 36 players to arrive are allowed in due to only having two courts they have to limit the number of players. We have only been getting on average of about 10 people each night. We will be having it this Thursday and next and then we will have a 2 week break since school are closed. This is being put on by the Wicomico Rec and Parks, I am just trying to help the cause. The more people that show up the better. Thanks for any help. If you have any further questions about it you can contact Lee Steffey at Wicomico Rec and parks as he is the one heading it up. Thanks again.
Andrew LeCates
Lee Steffey is the main contact at Wicomico Rec and parks and his info is as follows:
410-548-4900 ext 105
email is lsteffey@wicomicocounty.org
Power Outage
Service call of the month from a Baltimore Gas & Electric residential customer .
BG&E received a call from a customer saying: 'My power is out. When you come to fix it be sure to bring a truck with a tall enough bucket to remove the deer.'
The customer service rep prudently trying to gather information to help diagnose the problem asked, 'What deer?'
The customer replied, 'There is a deer on top of one of the electric poles on Wilkes Rd about a mile west of Perimeter Rd. '
The customer service rep tried desperately to pull herself together and not laugh in front of the customer and replied, 'We'll dispatch someone right away to investigate the power outage. Thank you for the call.'
Upon completion of the call, the customer service rep proceeded to share the funny story with her co-workers in the office and they all had a good laugh.
Well, lo and behold, the serviceman who repaired the problem stopped by the customer service office the following day with these pictures.
Sure enough, the deer had been hit by a train & landed on top of a distribution feeder pole! Unbelievable!!!!!
BG&E received a call from a customer saying: 'My power is out. When you come to fix it be sure to bring a truck with a tall enough bucket to remove the deer.'
The customer service rep prudently trying to gather information to help diagnose the problem asked, 'What deer?'
The customer replied, 'There is a deer on top of one of the electric poles on Wilkes Rd about a mile west of Perimeter Rd. '
The customer service rep tried desperately to pull herself together and not laugh in front of the customer and replied, 'We'll dispatch someone right away to investigate the power outage. Thank you for the call.'
Upon completion of the call, the customer service rep proceeded to share the funny story with her co-workers in the office and they all had a good laugh.
Well, lo and behold, the serviceman who repaired the problem stopped by the customer service office the following day with these pictures.
Sure enough, the deer had been hit by a train & landed on top of a distribution feeder pole! Unbelievable!!!!!
Another Local Photographer Shares His Work With SBYNews
Click on image to enlarge.Schumaker Pond
Taken November 11, 2008
Photo Credit: Joel R. Smith
