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Wednesday, April 08, 2020

Trump Installs Ejection Seats Throughout Press Briefing Room

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Trump excitedly unveiled his latest improvements to the White House Press Briefing Room at Monday night's press conference: ejection seats.

Controlled by a panel on Trump's podium, the ejection seats allow him to instantly send any White House reporter on a free trip to somewhere a few hundred yards down Pennsylvania Avenue. Any journalist parroting Chinese propaganda, insulting the president, or asking a question without referring to Trump as "His Majesty Donald Trump May He Live Forever" is likely to get a free flight courtesy of the White House.

"Mr. President, why do you hate AmericaaaaaaaaAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" screamed one reporter as Trump solemnly pressed a button and sent her rocketing through the roof. Stunned journalists stared in shock at their colleague soaring hundreds of feet into the air. They were speechless, which was a "welcome change" according to sources.

More Satire

7 comments:

  1. It could be better for those special "correspondents" to be set afire and launched after sunset.

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  2. That would be sooo great to see!

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  3. to quote the Beach Boys, "Wouldn't Be Nice"

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  4. Just like lawyers, these news reporters are the worst society provides.

    Scum, pure scum!

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  5. Excellent idea for those combative show-offs that are attempting to take over the news.

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  6. On the serious side- Please bring back the procedure of each reporter standing, giving there name, and then the name of the news organization or network they are representing,Please. Let America see what there news sources find important.

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