For immediate release:
April 1, 2019 Contact: Department of Wit and Hilarity
April 1, 2019 Contact: Department of Wit and Hilarity
Breaking: In Earth-Shattering Turn of Events, Assembly Passes Hogan Redistricting Legislation*Entrenched Partisan Interests Set Aside as Marylanders Cheer The Restoration of Free and Fair Elections
ANNAPOLIS, MD - In a stunning rebuke of status-quo partisan politics, the Maryland General Assembly today sent Senate Bill 90 and Senate Bill 91 directly to Governor Larry Hogan’s desk. The bills abruptly and unexpectedly end Maryland’s distinction of having the most gerrymandered districts in America.
“Wait, what?” Governor Hogan asked upon coming into his office and seeing the bills on his desk. “Here I thought they were going to leave our legislation in a drawer, and they just went and did the right thing. This is the most bipartisan, common sense solution to come out of the General Assembly in the 243-year history of our state. We are truly changing Maryland - and maps - for the better!”
Governor Hogan has been fighting for redistricting reform since before he became governor. He fulfilled a campaign promise by creating a bipartisan redistricting reform commission, and for four years in a row, he has introduced non-partisan redistricting reform legislation. It has never even been brought up for a vote on the floor - until now.
“Must have been my star turn with Schwarzenegger. Had to be that,” Hogan, the newly crowned recipient of the Maryland International Film Festival-Hagerstown Mendez Award, said. “I’m even thinking of having all our state highway signs changed from, ‘Welcome to Maryland, We’re Open for Business’ to ‘Welcome to Maryland, We’re Closed to Gerrymandering.’”
*The headline and what follows are satire, but this issue is just the opposite. Representative democracy is older than our republic itself. Governor Hogan is asking for an up-or-down vote on his redistricting legislation. That vote comes down to a simple question: are you for partisan gerrymandering or are you for free and fair elections?
It must have been really, really bad.
ReplyDeleteDave T: I would really love to give praise to our politicians for hard work and honesty, but something tells me there is more than meets the eye with all legislation passed today. I'm relieved to hear politicians are trying to do the right thing. I love this country. But it's heard to believe they're actually doing their intended job. I hope for everyone's sake this story is true and possibly the beginning of necessary change for Maryland. It's a beautiful place that could be a wonderful location to live if politics wasn't infecting the state like a malignant cancer. There is much more work to do here. We are all tied to together, like it or not. The sooner we learn to work together despite our differences, the sooner we can all create a brighter future for the many hard working citizens of this state that deserve better.
ReplyDeleteHappy April Fool's Day!!
ReplyDeleteBoth 11:46 & 12:27 Pause at the opening heading----
ReplyDeleteIt's APRIL 1 April Fools Day
Dave T: Urghh. Every year someone gets me. I am so gullible. :( lol
ReplyDeleteDemocrats were afraid of the consequences of the Supreme Court ruling against them when their O'Malley plan proved they manipulate Maryland politics. Hogan you have been played again by your Democrat friends.
ReplyDeleteNothing like your corrupt state getting a case in front of the Supreme Court, to come around and try to make the case moot. This is politics at it's finest. trying to avoid a ruling by the SCOTUS. That would take the power away from the state and make them follow the law, as SCOTUS sees it. This way they will make the case moot, and they can still go back to their old ways after the case is withdrawn from the court. It's as slimy as it gets. And again, Hogan is a part of it.
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