After he finished emasculating my dad, the officer let us go, but I remember how silent the car ride was the rest of the way. I could feel the anger emanating from my father. I know now how much that encounter must have hurt, but for the sake of his family, he took it. Later, my father told me how to behave when you encounter a police officer, because he wanted to keep me safe. This is America, as it is.
In 2001, I won custody of my oldest son; it had been a long, weird, journey. I didn't know I had a son until he was 6 years old and I was 23. Getting custody was necessary but a difficult transition for both of us. They don't have a handbook about parenting an 11-year-old child, especially when you haven't learned any skills leading to that point. You grow with your child and unfortunately for both him and I, we hadn't been afforded that luxury.
Not long after he came to live with me, he and I were driving in Jacksonville. I stopped at a convenience store to get us a snack. An older black man, who looked homeless, stumbled into the store and slipped on the floor while talking incoherently. He must have been running from the cops because they came in behind him and started to beat the man bloody. My first inclination was to step in and stop them from hurting him so badly. But they were cops. What could I do?
I looked out of the window and saw my kid trying to look into the store from the car. I didn't know much about parenting at that point, but I knew he shouldn't see this. I left the soda and chips on the counter, threw my hands up and slid out of the store. We drove away and my son asked me what happened. I didn't respond, I just tried to hide the tears from him and continued to drive as the truth hit me hard: I cannot protect him.
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" very disrespectful manner, clearly egging him into a confrontation"...
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what cops do. To everyone, not just black people.
These are the type encounters that we as the people need to change....no one deserves to be treated like this. Sad thing is.....it can happen to anyone of any color.
ReplyDeleteJust for the record, I am white and have also instructed my children how to deal with cops.
ReplyDeleteI have told them, if they are stupid enough to break laws and get into trouble or just be harassed by one, to keep their mouth shut. Yes sir or mam and be super respectful. Even if the cop is wrong, we will take it to court.
It is so sad that we have to teach our small children to trust LEO's and then when they start in adolescence teach them not to and how to stay alive when dealing with them. Doesn't seem right does it?
You are a model father you protected your son by removing him from the area. You did not get in the confrontation as it would have left your son feeling like the experience with your father. You and your father are role models. God Bless you and your son.
ReplyDeleteAgain, this is just one side of the story. A chest mounted camera could support the officers side of the encounter. There could have been attitude, hostility, or belligerent comments directed at the officer that provoked his bad behavior. A traffic stop is one of the most dangerous things law enforcement has to deal with.
ReplyDeleteI'm a white guy and used to drive a truck. Wish I had video of most of the cops I had to deal with. Blacks don't understand, cops will pi** on just about anybody. Try being a white guy dealing with a black trooper in Va. at 3 am with no recording ability. Ain't going to go your way.
ReplyDeleteNot to long ago my son who is white was leaving work here in Salisbury. it was sometime around 11pm when he got off his shift and was pulled over as soon as he pulled out of Rt. 13.
ReplyDeleteIt was a Salisbury police officer that pulled my son over. This officer started asking my son if he had drugs on him and if he was drinking.
My son stated no to all of these and eventually the cop asked him to get out of the car. Then a K9 unit was called in.
Ultimately they found nothing and my son was free to go.
Now to me this was completely wrong. There wasn't any probable cause to search the vehicle or to detain my son for about 45 minutes on the side of the rd.
My point to this is that when this happens to a white kid its just a cop being a jerk. When it happens to a black kids its racism.
I remember Eric Holder sharing a story about how he was treated on the New Jersey Turnpike years ago and chalked it up to the cop being racist.
I remember being treated the same way by cops and I am a white guy.
it seems black people do have some valid points but they need to pick their battles carefully. Not every negative thing that happens to them is because they are black. Sometimes a cops is being an Ass simply because that cop is an Ass.
I am black & I agree. U r right & I appreciate ur empathy, openness & ur honesty. It's refreshing to c on here
DeleteThe sad fact is that there are bad cops lets face it. The hiring standards have gone down over the years because there was just no one applying or they just could not pass the back ground. As a police officer with many years of service I have seen bad cops.
ReplyDeleteThe bottom line until agencies weed out the thugs among the staff it will continue. I know no one will believe this but it is less then 5% of most forces that are truly bad. If they would just get rid of the racist and bigots that wear a badge the world would be a much better place.
To lump all police into one basket is just as bad as the racist cop out there thinking one race is always up to criminal activity. It is a stereotype that has to be overcome. The public's outcry on all police is creating a volatile situation. The good cops are sick and tired of hearing the across the board bashing. I have seen a change in many good officers out there.
We need to find a middle ground or it WILL get worse. I myself am disgusted by the rants of racist and bigots that do not wear a badge. I am also disgusted by any officer that abuses their position.
I hope that as we move forward agencies will take a hard look at who they have fighting crime. If they have a problem child stick a camera on them. Why punish good cops doing a good job.
In my twenty five plus years of service I have seen it all trust me. I just ask that we all remember to not lump one class of people or a profession into one basket it is wrong from every standpoint.
God Bless have a Merry Christmas and a better new year.
Joe try to put a little good news out thanks for all you do.
Well said. Truth is that we miss the point when these things happen. True it does seem to happen to black people a lot. But the real issue is not race but the abuse of power by the police. It is obvious that the overwhelming majority of police do their jobs in a respectful and professional manner. It is also obvious that a few do not. I suppose we can just accept that or we, as a society, can come to the conclusion that even one person losing their rights or worse, their life to an out of control police officer is too much and make changes to the way the police conduct their business.
ReplyDeleteThis has been one of the most enlightening & most positive comments section I think I have ever read on this site.
ReplyDeleteAgreed
DeleteSo black, white, or green, we all agree you can't trust cops. Good to see race relations getting behind a good cause.
ReplyDelete