JOHN'S EGG BUSINESS

John was in the fertilized egg business.

He had several hundred young layers

(hens), called 'pullets,'

And ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.


He kept records,

And any rooster not performing

Went into the soup pot

And was replaced.


This took a lot of time,

So he bought some tiny bells

And attached them to his roosters.


Each bell had a different tone,

So he could tell from a distance,

Which rooster was performing.


Now, he could sit on the porch

And fill out an efficiency report

By just listening to the bells.


John's favorite rooster, old Butch,

Was a very fine specimen,

But this morning he noticed

Old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!


When he went to investigate,

He saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets,

Bells-a-ringing, but the pullets,

Hearing the roosters coming,

Could run for cover.


To John's amazement,

Old Butch had his bell in his beak,

So it couldn't ring.


He'd sneak up on a pullet,

Do his job and walk on to the next one.


John was so proud of old Butch,

He entered him in the Renfrew County Fair

And he became an overnight sensation

Among the judges.


The result was the judges

Not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize

But they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.


Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.


Who else but a politician could figure out

How to win two of the most highly coveted awards

On our planet by being the best

At sneaking up on the populace

And screwing them

When they weren't paying attention.


Vote carefully this year,

The bells are not always audible.