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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Gun Owners: Should We Listen To Bob Costas Or Jesus Christ?

As most of you know, during a football game last week Bob Costas lectured us po’ goofy Americans about the evils of a “gun culture” and how we need to evolve away from being obsessed with firearms. As soon as I heard that drivel roll off Mr. C’s tongue I ordered another 30/06, a sweet Walther PPK and a custom .416 Rigby turnbolt. Cowabunga, Bob. Thanks for reminding me to buy more guns.
First off, let me help you, Robert: Guns do not kill people. Dads with daughters do. Oh, and BTW, Planned Parenthood kills a lot of people … like real innocent babies … like the most vulnerable form of all humanity. Why don’t you piss and moan about PP, Roberto? What’s that I hear? Crickets? Yep, crickets from Costas on the evils of the abortion mills. I would’ve thought that crime would have made Bobby incensed. Oh, well.
Another thing I thought was weird was Bob launching into an anti-gun diatribe during a football game. A football game, BC? Look, I know he was trying to be relevant in his commentary as it related to Belcher’s murder/suicide, but whizzing on guns to a football crowd is like pooh-poohing pasta and red wine to Italians. You should have saved that lecture for a figure skating event where the male contestants are sashaying to Spandau Ballet, doing pirouettes and floating around in unitards with glitter in their hair. You could have come on during a gentle moment and said, “Don’t you think we have too many guns? You do? Me too.”
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6 comments:

  1. ALWAYS better to have too many than not enough!!!

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  2. Was this from the Onion?

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  3. Are you kidding me?????? You think it's ok with Jesus for you to use a gun??????? The ultimate pacifist does NOT share your views.

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  4. Where is the logic that football fans equal gun owners? I know plenty of football fans who don't own guns or condone the violence by their owners.

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  5. No such thing as having too many guns!!

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  6. Jesus was a gun owner?

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